I got myself in secret santa. I was supposed to tell somebody... but I didn't.


Kelly: [kisses Dwight]
Dwight: What are you doing?!
Kelly: I don't know.
Dwight: You shouldn't do things like that. A man's supposed to do that.

Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets Christmas.


So Phyllis is basically saying "Hey Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year, but I only care about you a homemade oven mitt's-worth." I gave Ryan an iPod!


Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say "Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth."


Happy birthday Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.


Michael: You're the expert, is this enough to get 20 people plastered?
Store Clerk: 15 bottles of vodka? Yeah, that should do it.

Stupid corporate wet blankets... it's not like booze ever killed anyone.


Phyllis: Everyone, this is my boyfriend Bob.
Kevin: Kevin Malone.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Stanley: Stanley Hudson.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: Ryan Howard.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: What line of work you in, Bob?

Displaying all 9 quotes