Jim: So what's your strategy for this race?
Pam: Well I'm gonna start fast.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Pam: Then I'm gonna run fast in the middle.
Jim: What?
Pam: Then I'm gonna end fast.
Jim: Why won't more people do that?
Pam: Cause they're just stupid.

Angela: Pssst. I'm having relationship problems. And since you're always having relationship problems, I thought you'd be able to give me some advice.
Pam: What's wrong?
Angela: I have this crazy thought, that I know is crazy. That maybe Dwight killed my cat.
Pam: Hmm...
Angela: When I got home, Sprinkles' body was in the freezer where Dwight said he left her, but all my bags of frozen french fries had been clawed to shreds.
Pam: Ah.
Angela: Something's not right. The vet's doing an autopsy.
Pam: Angela, I'm sorry.
Angela: Did Roy ever kill one of your cats?
Pam: I'm more of a dog person.

I'm petrified of nipple chafing. Once it starts it is a vicious circle. If you have sensitive nipples, they chafe, so they become more sensitive, so they chafe more. So... I take precautions.

Andy

Stanley: [on the phone] No, rabies... Babies would be a good idea. Can I put you down for a dime?
Michael: Hi Stanley, how many sponsors so far?
Stanley: Zero.
Michael: Come on man, gotta step it up! It's for a good cause. Jan called this morning and pledged $500.00.
Andy: Isn't that your money?
Michael: That... is for a good cause. Phyllis, how's the rabies quilt coming?
Phyllis: Oh, it's coming.
Michael: Oh, look at that, 3. Way to honor Meredith, Phyllis.
Kevin: Michael?
Michael: Yes.
Kevin: You cannot make me run.
Michael: OK.

A woman shouldn't have to be hit by a car, to learn that she may have rabies. But that is where we are in America. And that does not sit right with me. And that is why I'm hosting a fun run race for the cure for rabies. To raise awareness of the fact that there is a cure for rabies. A disease that has largely been eradicated in the US. But not very many people know that.

Michael

Michael: Did anyone do anything involving an Indian burial ground?
Oscar: Like what?
Michael: Like park on it. Or dig up a body... Toby? Anything you want to tell us?
Toby: No, I did not violate an Indian burial ground. In fact I had some good luck recently, Alfredo's Pizza, picked my business card out of the basket, so... uh, I got a week of free pies.
Pam: That's cool.
Toby: Yeah.
Michael: Perfect. So our tragedy is your good luck. Satan.

Angela: Hey.
Dwight: Hey monkey.
Angela: Any problems?
Dwight: Well you left the TV on, and your cat is dead.
Angela: What!?
Dwight: Sparkles, the white one, is dead.
Angela: Sprinkles.
Dwight: That was the sick one, right?
Angela: Uh-huh. But I thought she had more time.
Dwight: No.
Angela: Did she look... When you saw her how was she looking?
Dwight: Really dead. Like a... just a dead cat.
Angela: [cries]
Dwight: So... Hey come on, don't be sad, just... OK... just. She's in a better place.
Angela: Alright.
Dwight: Actually the place that she's in is the freezer, because of the odor.

Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like a compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.

Michael

Phyllis: Does it hurt terribly?
Meredith: No, it's not too bad. They have me on a lot of painkillers.
Creed: Oh really, what kind? Codeine, Vicodin, Percocet, Fentanyl, Oxycontin, Palladone? What...
Meredith: I have no idea.
Creed: Oh.

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