I hate, hate being left out. Whether it's not being picked for a team... or being picked for a team and then showing up and realizing the team doesn't exist. Or that the sport doesn't exist! I should've known. "Poop ball?"

Michael

Pam: We haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant.
Jim: Well with her being unmarried. Knocked up by some guy... The yackety yacks in this office would have a field day.
Pam: And we don't want them at the wedding thinking Jim's being marched down the aisle by my dad with a shotgun.
Jim: Wait there's not going to be a shotgun?

Intern: Is there anything else I can do?
Dwight: Yes, um... See those files behind Kevin's desk?
Intern: Mm-hmm?
Dwight: Go put them in random order.

Andy: Did you hear the rumor about me? That I'm gay?
Oscar: I did.
Andy: Do you think it's true?
Oscar: Are you attracted to other men?
Andy: No. But let me give you a scenario. I'm at a beach cabana. Brad Pitt comes up and tries to kiss me. I would definitely resist at first, but if he was persistent, I would probably give in a little bit, depending on how persistent he was ...
Oscar: If Brad Pitt tried to kiss you and you resisted, he would still have to get to you?
Andy: It's just a scenario.

Angela: You know a child conceived out of wedlock is still a bastard.
Pam: What?
Angela: Want me to say it again?
Pam: Why did that come into your brain?

Kevin: Hahaha. Tea.
Andy: I like tea.
Kevin: You WOULD.
Andy: I like it a lot!
Kevin: I bet you do.
Andy: I REALLY like it!
Kevin: Do you like it as much as you like men's butts?!
Andy: What?
Kevin: 'Cause you're GAY!

Michael: Did you pee on a stick?
Jim: I did. It was inconclusive.

[on ultrasound pic] Oh my god! Pam! Look at that! That is the inside of your vagina!

Michael

Michael: The one true rumor ... and this it going to ruin this person's life, is that-
Jim: Pam's pregnant!
Kevin: I knew it! At first, I thought, 'Oh, Pam's breasts are a little bit bigger. She must have gotten a new bra with padding. But then I thought, Pam doesn't NEED padding.' It just didn't add up, Jim.
Jim: Okay. Thanks.
Dwight: Who's the father?
Pam: Jim.
Creed: Who's the OB-GYN?

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