That baby is a Schrute, and unless somebody taught Mose sex, that baby is mine.

Dwight

Oscar: Don't you wanna see the baby?
Dwight: Why? I know what Angela and the Senator look like. I can mash that up in my head right now.

Oscar: I don't know if it's right.
Robert: Well if it's anything like that gorgeous wrapping paper, you hit it out of the park.

He remembers Toby, the most forgettable man in the known world.

Dwight

You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to beg for mercy. You have the right to request judgment by combat. Dwight's rights.

Dwight

Oscar: Please don't say anything offensive.
Kevin: Got that bimbo?
Erin: Got it bimbo.

My wife got to the tv first. I had to sit through damn Rizzoli and damn Isles.

Stanley

Darryl: Would it be more hilarious than Angela having a Chinese baby?
Kevin: A little bit. Yeah. Right guys? Back me up.

Erin: Angela had the baby?
Kevin: Is it black? Because that would be hilarious.

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