Andy: Four! Three! Two! One!
Dwight: Yes!
Andy: Woo!
Dwight: Woo!
Andy: After numerous projections that the computer would crush all salesmen in it's path, I am very happy to report that our very own Dwight Schrute has crushed his electronic nemesis, if you will, by a whopping fifty-two reams.
Dwight: Reams. Wait. Say it. Say it again. Announce it again.
Andy: Fifty-two reams!
Dwight: No no no the first part.
Andy: Dwight has defeated the computer.
Dwight: Hey. So. What do you think? I did it for you.
Angela: I didn't ask you to do it for me.
Dwight: You didn't have to.

Michael: Doesn't it just piss you off sometimes that that little twerp got the promotion over us?
Jim: Oh actually I withdrew from consideration.
Michael: Yeah. I withdrew too.

Michael: You guys should come over for dinner. You and Pam. That'd be fun. Friday?
Jim: That would be fun.
Michael: Wanna come over Friday?
Jim: Uhhh. Can't.
Michael: After work you guys...
Jim: Oh, no cause... you're gonna let me know when we're close, right?
Michael: Yes. Actually I will tell you right now. It's a club called Chatroom, and there's a password to get in, which is actually password. So...
Jim: Mmmkay...
Michael: What are you doing?
Jim: Uh, that is an invitation to an online party.
Michael: No.
Jim: Yep.
Michael: No, I'm sure that's not. Na...
Jim: Are there, uh, three w's at the beginning of the address?
Michael: Yes.
Jim: Yep.

Yes, Mr. Galliado. How would you like to pay ten percent less for paper than you're paying right now? It's not important how I got your information. What is important is that you say yes. Good.

Dwight

I am not a bad person. When I left Staples, I took some of their leads with me but I never intended to use them. What did I intend to do with them? Who knows? Maybe keep them as a souvenir. Maybe use them.

Dwight

Jim: Hey man.
Darryl: What's up man?
Jim: What's going on?
Darryl: Make a delivery.
Jim: Oh yeah?
Darryl: Kelly ordered this online.

Michael: So. This is the dealio. God has smiled upon me and given me two tickets to the big party in New York tonight. What are you doing this evening? Look at that. They have their own little language now. Like twins.
Jim: Sure we'll go.
Michael: Alright. Well fight it out amongst yourselves. I was thinking Pammy but boys night out is also good.
Jim: Oh I'm sorry. What?
Pam: One of the tickets is for him.
Michael: Just let me know who the winner is.
Pam and Jim: Not it.
Jim: Nope.
Pam: I won.
Jim: Definitely not. If anything it was a tie.
Pam: Tie goes to the girlfriend.

Dwight: Ohhhhhh!
Andy: Website check please.
Meredith: Three hundred and five.
Andy: Three-oh-five. You my friend are winning handsomely.
Meredith: Oop. It just made another sale. Three eighty.
Andy: You my friend are in a very close second.
Meredith: Four-oh-two.
Andy: Okay, uh why don't you just lay off, lady?
Meredith: What do you want me to do, not announce it? Four twelve.

It appears that the website has become alive. This happens to computers and robots sometimes. Am I scared of a stupid computer? Please. The computer should be scared of me! I have been salesman of the month for 13 out of the last 12 months. You heard me right. I did so well last February that Corporate gave me 2 plaques in lieu of a pay raise.

Dwight

Plan a party, Angela. Oh! And the entire world will see it. Oh! And here's $65.00 for your budget. Oh and here are four idiots who'll do nothing but weigh you down. Oh. And your cat's still dead.

Angela

Convergence. Viral marketing. We're going guerrilla. We're takin' it to the streets while keeping an eye on the street. Wall Street. I don't want to reinvent the wheel here. In other words, it is what it is. Buyin' paper just became fun.

Ryan

Dwight mercy killed Angela's cat. It's very complicated. It's caused a lot of unpleasantness between Dwight and Angela. Who are both already prone to unpleasantness.

Pam

The Office Season 4 Episode 3 Quotes

There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day, and sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen, and at the last minute it hits a wall and bounces away. And we are all just dying to see it go right into the corner. Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it.

Jim

And the same thing goes for quarterly reports. They are unreadable. They're just numbers and boring and blech. So what I was thinking is that maybe we should have some sort of graphic, like if we have a bad quarter, put in a storm cloud? And... when we have a good quarter, fireworks? Or a race car? [crickets] Doesn't have to be a race car. Use your imagination.

Michael