The Office Season 2 Episode 8: "Performance Review" Quotes
Michael: Can I ask you a question?
Michael: This is a business question. It's nothing personal. I promise.
Michael: Are you wearing new perfume today?
Jan: How is that a business question?
Michael: Well, you're wearing it at the office. And, it's ... I'm sorry, no offense, but it's really sexy.
Jan: Please don't smell me, Michael.
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Jan: So are you still in the middle of the Performance Reviews then?
Michael: Oh, no no. I finished all of that. I'm very fast. I'm not too fast. Not like "Wam bam, thank you ma'am." But I do say "Thank you ma'am." Not like "Wam bam." Not that there's anything wrong with "Wam bam..." If it's consensual.
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I'm a little confused, because at first its like, all "Kissy Kissy." And then its like, all regret because "Oh, I regret that. But, wait. I'm still gonna call you. But-- But! We're just gonna talk business. And I may come down there and fire you if you don't do your job." But what were we talking about when we first kissed? Business.Michael
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Michael: It's nice to see you.
Jan: Nice to see you too, Michael.
Jan: Not like that.
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Michael: Attention please. Jan Levinson's coming very soon and so we're going to have our weekly suggestion box meeting. So you can get in your constructive compliments ASAP.
Ryan: Don't you mean "constructive criticism?"
Michael: What did I say?
Kelly: You said "constructive compliments." That doesn't make any sense.
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Michael: Pam, I have ideas on a daily basis. I know I do. I have a clear memory of telling people my ideas. Um, is there any chance that you wrote any of my ideas down? Like in a folder? A little idea folder?
Michael: That's unfortunate.
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Jan: I expect you to forget anything that you think may have happened between us and exhibit completely professional behavior.
Michael: Been thinking about you.
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I actually look forward to performance reviews. I did the youth beauty pageant circuit, and I enjoyed that quite a bit. I really enjoy being judged. I believe I hold up very well to even severe scrutiny.Angela
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Pam: Michael and Jan definitely made out, maybe more.
Jim: Oh, yelch. Oh! Also, it is Thursday, but Dwight thinks it's Friday. So, keep that going.
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Stanley: Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their words.
Stanley: Oh yes. Let's listen to it again. And this time, really listen to the pauses.
Michael: God. Stanley, that's frickin brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets? I'm sorry...
Stanley: Oh, it's OK. I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto in fact.
Michael: No kidding?
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I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! I never go out on a Thursday night. What the hell was I thinking?Dwight
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Today is Thursday, but Dwight thinks that it's Friday. Aaaand, that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.Jim
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Dwight: This ab workout is specifically designed to strengthen your core. Sorry.
Jim: It's all right.
Dwight: Numerous health benefits: strengthens your back, better performance at sports, more enjoyable sex.
Jim: You're not having sex.
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Dwight: [sitting on a giant rubber ball] You should get one of these.
Jim: No, thank you.
Dwight: Do you even know what this is? It is a fitness orb, and it has completely changed my life. Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts.
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