The Office Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot" Quotes
Jim: Dwight, what are you doing?
Jim: What are you doing?
Dwight: Just clearing my desk. I can't concentrate.
Jim: It's not on your desk!
Dwight: It's overlapping. It's all spilling over the edge. One word, two syllables. Demarcation.
- Permalink: Dwight, what are you doing? What? What are you doing? Just...
Jan: This does however mean that there's going to be downsizing.
Michael: Me no wanna hear that, Jan. Because downsizing is a bitch. It is a real bitch. And I wouldn't, uh, wish that on Josh's men. I certainly wouldn't wish it on my men. Or women, present company excluded. Sorry. Uh, Is Josh concerned about downsizing, himself? Not downsizing himself, but is he concerned about downsizing?
Jan: Well, uh...
- Permalink: This does however mean that there's going to be downsizing. Me...
Michael: Did we get a fax this morning?
Pam: Uh, yeah. The one.
Michael: Why isn't it in my hand? Because the company runs on efficiency of communication, right? So what's the problem, Pam? Why didn't, uh, why didn't I get it?
Pam: You put it in the garbage can that was the special filing cabinet.
- Permalink: Did we get a fax this morning? Uh, yeah. The one. Why isn't ...
Jan: Don't panic.
Michael: Uh, This is excellent. Although alarm bells are kind of going "Ringy Dingy Dingy!"
- Permalink: Don't panic. Uh, This is excellent. Although alarm bells are k...
Jan: All right, was there anything you wanted to add to the agenda?
Michael: Ummmm... Me no get an agenda.
Jan: I'm sorry - wait, I'm sorry?
- Permalink: All right, was there anything you wanted to add to the agenda? ...
Corporate really doesn't interfere with me at all. Um, Jan Levinson-Gould. I call her Hillary Rodham Clinton, right? Not to her face, because, uh...well not because I'm scared of her. Because I'm not. But, um, yeah.Michael
- Permalink: Corporate really doesn't interfere with me at all. Um, Jan Levin...
My job is to speak to clients, um, on the phone about, uh, quantities and, uh, type of copier paper. You know, uh, whether we can supply it to them, whether they can, uh, pay for it. And, um... I'm boring myself just talking about this.Jim
- Permalink: My job is to speak to clients, um, on the phone about, uh, quant...
Pam, this is from corporate. How many times have I told you that there is a special filing cabinet for things from corporate? Called the waste paper basket!Michael
- Permalink: Pam, this is from corporate. How many times have I told you that...
Michael: Ah, This is our receptionist, Pam. PAM! PAM PAM! Pam Beesly. Uh, Pam has been with us, um, for forever... Right, Pam?
Pam: Well, I don't know...
Michael: If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago! [growls]
Michael: Uh, any messages?
- Permalink: Ah, This is our receptionist, Pam. PAM! PAM PAM! Pam Beesly. Uh,...