The Office Season 5 Episode 12: "Prince Family Paper" Quotes
Michael: Oh, well, thank you very much for all of your help. It's going to be an incredibly hard decision.
Prince Grandfather: Wait; let me get something for you. Here is some, some references. Here is a list of references, our top clients. You call any of them; I trust you will hear some good things.
Michael: I... Okay, okay, okay, alright, thank you.
Dwight: Excuse me sir, I took the bus here and was wondering if I could catch a ride home with you in your car.
Michael: Of course. Thank you very much. Thanks for your time.
Dwight: Thank you very much.
Michael: I cannot wait to contact your clients.
Dwight: Thank you for your time I look forward to getting your calls. [they run out the door]
Kevin: Ladies and gentlemen, even though the penis was fake, I was expecting a second plot twist where we found out Hilary Swank was a boy.
Pam: Kevin!
Angela: Okay, I wasn't going to dignify this discussion by getting involved, but I don't even get the discussion, hot is a temperature people. But Kevin deserves to lose for what he said, so, yes, she's hot, she's hot as heck, she's a female Boris Becker.
Jim: OH!
Jim: Kevin, you know what, why don't you close your eyes? Imagine that Hilary Swank comes into this office for real and she walks over to you and says "Kevin Malone, I just read your online profile and there is nothing I would rather do then make out with you right now." And now you tell me something, is she hot? Does that end the debate?
Kevin: No, it's is she hot, not would you do her. Respect the game.
Angela: Oh my God.
Jim: I think all of us have a tendency to view celebrities as sort of mythical figures, you know? We don't really see them as real so therefore we don't judge them as real people.
Kevin: Are you serious? Jim, just show us a picture.
Dwight: Hello, I would like to apply for a job.
Prince Grandfather: Hi, I'm afraid we're not hiring right now.
Dwight: Why don't you just get rid of this guy?
Prince Grandfather: That's my son.
Dwight: I'm your son now; you can visit him on holidays. Dwight Schrute, I'm a paper salesman at a second tier paper company called Dunder Mifflin. I'm the top salesman there and I'm looking for a new challenge. I would say you guys have what, 40 high full volume clients?
Michael: Try 80.
Dwight: Pshaw, that's nothing. I've 90 clients myself. You had better look out, someone might run you out of business.
Prince Grandfather: I sure hope not.
Dwight: Me too.
Michael: So, even specialty paper, say 94 brightness double-bonded, you would put that on the same truck as your conventional stock?
Prince Grandfather: You sure know a lot about paper for a lawyer.
Michael: Well that is... because... I am a genius.
Andy: Each side will have three minutes to prepare opening arguments. Topic: Hillary Swank is attractive.
Entire office: Hot!
Kevin: The debate is whether she is hot.
Stanley: What difference does it make? Attractive, beautiful, hot, we're talking about the same thing here.
Kevin: Huge difference. A painting can be beautiful, but I don't want to bang a painting.
Andy: Okay, TMI.
Michael: Hello.
Entire Prince family: Hello, hi.
Michael: My name is Michael Scarn. I am a local business owner and I would like to find out about your company.
Prince Grandfather: Oh, please come in
Michael: Thank you.
Prince Grandfather: What kind of business are you in.
Michael: We are a law firm.
Prince Grandfather: I assume your primary paper needs are stationary, general office.
Michael: You know, I will be honest with you... about something. Where we used to live, our paper supplier had a lot of big clients and I just didn't feel like a priority. So I guess my question for you would be [reading off sheet] how many clients do you have?
Prince Grandfather: About 80.
Michael: Really? That many? This doesn't seem like a very big operation.
Prince Grandfather: It's just me, my wife and my son.
Michael: Ah, so when did you set up shop?
Prince Grandfather: I opened this place after I came back from Vietnam.
Michael: Oh Vietnam, I hear it's lovely.
In nature, there is something called a food chain; it's where the shark eats a little shark. And the little shark eats a littler shark. And so on and so on. Until you get down to the single cell shark. So now replace sharks with paper companies and that is all you need to know about business.
Michael
Dwight: [spying through binoculars] Its lunch time, and no sign of anyone coming in or out. Which means they are not taking new customers out to lunch.
Michael: Mmm hmm.
Dwight: Which means they're not acquiring new business. So once again no growth.
Michael: And there are clouds. There are clouds in the sky, which means gonna rain, bad for business.
Dwight: Oh, it would if they were all cumulous and not cirrostratus.
Michael: Argh, why are you all...
Dwight: Get your clouds right.
Dwight: Store only has three employees.
Michael: So what?
Dwight: It means they are not expanding.
Michael: Maybe they are shrinking.
Dwight: No.
Michael: They could be shrinking.
Dwight: No because their sign is centered perfectly above their store. No sign of the sign being moved.
Dwight: Are you socialist?
Michael: You know what? I don't want to get into this debate again. I enjoy IHOP.
Dwight: I'll have a cup of a coffee.
Michael: You will have pancakes and you'll like it.