The Office

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The Office "Stress Relief" Quotes (Page 4)

Oscar: I consider myself a good person, but I'm gonna try to make him cry.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: I'd just like to say for the record that I didn't kill anyone. Stanley was attacked by his own heart. And he should be released from the hospital and back to the office in a couple of days.
• Rating: Unrated

Michael: So it wasn't Dwight after all. It looks like I'm the killer. You never expect yourself to be the killer. It's a great twist. Great twist.
• Rating: Unrated

Michael: What we've proven here is that laughter is the best medicine. So Stanley, go ahead and throw away those pills - you're cured. [pauses] Actually, you better hold onto the pills, just in case.
• Rating: Unrated

Michael: Jim: You're 6-11 and weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Dwight, you're a kiss ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, you're teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela ... where's Angela? Whoa, there you are, I didn't see you there behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Oscar, you are... [Stanley laughs] Oscar, you're gay.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0