Michael: Corporate has given Dwight two strikes. They are very, very upset with him. So, as a disciplinary measure, he is going to have to issue a formal apology. Dwight, have you prepared your statement of regret?Dwight: I have.
Michael: Let's hear it.
Dwight: [unfolds piece of paper] I state my regret.
Jim: You couldn't have memorized that?
Dwight: I could not because I do not feel it.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Wallace: Can you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy.
Dwight: I didn't think it was very realistic in the movie, and it turns out, it's pretty realistic.
Wallace: We had to pay for it. It cost us thirty-five hundred dollars.
Michael: Five thousand three hundred dollars for a dummy? Okay. Look. This is why we have training. We start with the dummy and learn from our mistakes and now Dwight knows, not to cut the face off a real person.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Wallace: Michael, you have to take responsibility here. One of your employees had a heart attack. He could have died because of the way you're allowing your office to run. Do you want that on your conscience?
Michael: [to Dwight] Do you?
Wallace: Michael?
Michael: You're talking to me?
Wallace: Yeah.
Michael: What?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Wallace: Did you shout "fire," causing a panic?
Dwight: Yes, I shouted fire. I shouted many things. I also shouted instructions on how to get out of the building so you can imagine my frustration, as safety officer, when nobody would heed of, would heeded, heeded of--
Michael: Headed of-
Dwight: When no one would take headed of my instructions.
Michael: Heed. Take heed.
Dwight: I don't see my co-workers-
Michael Scott: Take heed of-
Dwight: -heeding this. Right now.
Wallace: Right what?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: The city... Dwight. We are not mad. We are just disappointed.
Wallace: No, we are mad.
Michael: Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide.
Wallace: No, we're not!
Michael: I am not a mind reader, David.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Wallace: How could you possibly think this is a good idea?
Dwight: A lot of ideas were not appreciated in their time.
Michael: Electricity.
Dwight: Shampoo.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: I guess I don't have what it takes to be a film critic. I could be a food critic. These muffins taste ... bad. Or maybe an art critic. That painting is ... bad.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Andy: [to Jim and Pam] Milady. Mi-Tuna.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: [singing, to the tune of "What I Like About You"] We're stuck listenin' to you all day ... Stanley tried to die just to get away.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: The fire is shooting at us!
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 36
