Ryan switched his name tag to his pants, so now it's like if you wear yours on your shirt you're a total dip, but if you switch you're a copy cat.

Erin

• Permalink: Ryan switched his name tag to his pants, so now it's like if you...
• Added: February 16, 2012

Paramedic: You have appendicitis.
Ryan: Oh, who called it? Nothing but net.

• Permalink: You have appendicitis. Oh, who called it? Nothing but net.
• Added: February 16, 2012

It's just rum. I'm not bored, I'm a pirate.

Stanley

• Permalink: It's just rum. I'm not bored, I'm a pirate.
• Added: February 16, 2012

I'm a decent baiter. My cousin Mose, that's a master baiter.

Dwight

• Permalink: I'm a decent baiter. My cousin Mose, that's a master baiter.
• Added: February 16, 2012

Dwight: What is the antidote?
Jim: True love's kiss.

• Permalink: What is the antidote? True love's kiss.
• Added: February 16, 2012

So stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis.

Nellie

• Permalink: So stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis.
• Added: February 16, 2012

Quick query Halpert, still queer?

Packer

• Permalink: Quick query Halpert, still queer?
• Added: February 16, 2012

Life is short. Drive fast. Leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos.

Stanley

• Permalink: Life is short. Drive fast. Leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my...
• Added: February 16, 2012

Dwight: It's just stress, 'cause I care about this project. Frankly, the fact that none of you are vomiting or diarrheal right now, I find very alarming.
Erin: Who says none of us are diarrheal?

• Permalink: It's just stress, 'cause I care about this project. Frankly, the...
• Added: February 16, 2012