The Office Season 5 Episode 11: "The Duel" Quotes
Wow, what a day! Haha! I thought I was gong to get chewed out, but, hold on! Here's an attaboy for ya! What? Rollercoaster ride! Rollercoaster! It just goes to show, you leave Scranton, exciting things can happen.Michael
- Permalink: Wow, what a day! Haha! I thought I was gong to get chewed out, b...
Andy: I don't get it! How can she be sleeping with you this whole time and only sleep with me twice?
Dwight: She's sleeping with you?
Andy: I'm her fiance.
Dwight: She said she was only sleeping with me.
- Permalink: I don't get it! How can she be sleeping with you this whole time...
Dwight: Oh, how much is this gonna cost? [hits car with bike chain] Oh! What? Trust fund will take care of that! [hits car again]
Andy: What did you say? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.
Dwight: I sa- [Andy honks horn]
Andy: What? You stupid idiot! You're like, you're like a Sasquatch! You live in the woods...
Dwight: Sasquatches are the strongest animal on the planet! So fine, call me a Sasquatch!
- Permalink: Oh, how much is this gonna cost? Oh! What? Trust fund will take...
Jim: Dwight! Are your legs broken?
Dwight: No. My right one's falling asleep a little bit.
Jim: Andy, are you all right?
Andy: Go away, Tuna! I'm winning this!
- Permalink: Dwight! Are your legs broken? No. My right one's falling aslee...
Dwight: Get out and face me like a man!
Andy: I am a man! I'm a bigger man than you'll ever be! I would never sleep with another man's fiance!
Dwight: You're not a man! You don't know how to take care of her! All you do is dress fancy and sing. [imitating Andy] "La la la la la la la la la la!" What does that mean? You can't even protect her!
Andy: Protect her from what? Bears, you idiot? When's the last time you saw a damn bear in Scranton?
Dwight: Last year, idiot!
- Permalink: Get out and face me like a man! I am a man! I'm a bigger man t...
Kelly: There's Andy, he's in his car. You guys, what is he doing?
Phyllis: Why isn't Dwight turning around?
Oscar: The Prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour. He deserves the win.
- Permalink: There's Andy, he's in his car. You guys, what is he doing? Why...
Come on, coward! Where are you? Where... [spots a note attached to the bushes; goes to read it] "From the desk of Andrew Bernard." A note. Pathetic. "Dear Dwight, by now you have received my note. How are you? I am well. You are no doubt wondering why I have left this note. It has come to my attention that in any physical match with you, I would surely be bested." True. "The soft underbelly of my refined upbringing is my soft underbelly..."Dwight
- Permalink: Come on, coward! Where are you? Where... From the desk of Andre...
Oscar: It's 4:10, I don't think he's gonna show.
Kevin: Oh come on, man! Believe in something.
- Permalink: 10, I don't think he's gonna show. Oh come on, man! Believe in...
Dwight: Come on! Where are you? Let's do this thing! Come on! Come on out!
Angela: [watching from the conference room] I can't believe they're gonna fight over me.
Kelly: I guess people have fewer choices as they get older.
- Permalink: Come on! Where are you? Let's do this thing! Come on! Come on ou...
Michael: So I was in the office, and I look over to our Accounting division, and there is Kevin Malone. Kevin is wearing a jacket that I've never seen before. And I call over to Kevin, "Kevin, is that a tweed jacket?" And he looks at me and he says, "Michael, yes it is a tweed jacket." And I look back at him and I say, "I feel the need!... The need for tweed."
David: It's hard to try and evaluate yourself, Michael, but I appreciate you trying.
- Permalink: So I was in the office, and I look over to our Accounting divisi...
So, I either get more involved, or I take a sick day... leaving Dwight in charge. Oh God.Jim
- Permalink: So, I either get more involved, or I take a sick day... leaving ...
I've had two men fight over me before. Usually it's over which one gets to hold the camcorder.Meredith
- Permalink: I've had two men fight over me before. Usually it's over which o...
Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.Michael
- Permalink: Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it'...
Angela made several 911 calls about cars going too fast in front of the building, so the police put up a radar gun. It's actually caused a bit of a traffic hazard.Pam
- Permalink: Angela made several 911 calls about cars going too fast in front...