The Office

The Office "The Duel" Quotes (Page 2)

Jim: So, I either get more involved, or I take a sick day... leaving Dwight in charge. Oh God.
 • Rating: Unrated

Meredith: I've had two men fight over me before. Usually it's over which one gets to hold the camcorder.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I will fight you.
Jim: Nope.
Dwight: Okay, fine! Good! A duel! The winner gets Angela.
Andy: Fine!
Dwight: Fine!
Oscar: This is nuts.
Dwight: What is your weapon?
Jim: Okay, you know what? That's enough. Because...
Dwight: Hey, this is none of your business.
Jim: Hey. It is my business when it happens at work.
Andy: Guess what? Not happening at work.
Dwight: Yes!
Andy: We're gonna do it outside.
Dwight: Outside of work.
Andy: None of your business.
Dwight: None of your business then. [they high five] Good. So what weapon?
Andy: My bare hands.
Dwight: That is stupid. I will use a sword and I will cut off your bare hands.
Andy: Then I'll get something too.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I'm telling you to back down.
Dwight: And I'm telling you that I will never back down.
Andy: Then I'll make you.
Dwight: Oh really? How are you gonna do that?
Andy: Through the use of force.
Dwight: That is very general, and does not scare me in the slightest.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Dwight.
Dwight: Andy.
Andy: It's over.
Dwight: Oh good. She broke up with you.
Andy: No. It's over between you two.
Dwight: Uh, no way. I am not giving up.
Andy: You have to.
Dwight: No I don't.
Andy: She doesn't love you. She's marrying me.
Dwight: Well I don't know about that, because she certainly seems to enjoy making lovemaking with me.
Andy: Angela Bernard.
Dwight: Will never be her name.
Andy: It will be her name. And you will have to call her that!
Dwight: I don't think so.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Where's Dwight?
Jim: You okay, man?
Andy: No. Not at all, actually. But thanks for asking. Appreciate it. You know what? I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for lying. To my face. And not telling me what's been going on this entire time.
Creed: You are welcome.
 • Rating: Unrated

Angela: Standard, you know? Nothing fancy.
Andy: So like, missionary...
Angela: I said nothing fancy.
Andy: Do you love him?
Angela: I love you.
Andy: Why should I believe that?
Angela: Andy, we are at a crossroads here. And we can either give in to what people are saying that we're not good together.
Andy: Who says that?
Angela: Or, we can prove them wrong. Let's prove them wrong.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: This is going to sound sort of high-maintenance, but could we have it, like, three degrees cooler in here? I always think better when it's cooler.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever.
 • Rating: Unrated

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