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Where's your jet pack, Zuckerburg?

Tom [to Jim]

Two eyes, two ears, a chine, a mouth, 10 fingers, two nipples, a butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Lochness Monster, and the reward for its capture...all the riches in Scotland. So I have one question, why are you her

Creed

Oscar: Sorry I yelled.
Pam: You could have just told us what you were thinking.
Oscar: There's no theater in that.

Who am I? I'm Kelly Kapoor, the business bitch.

Kelly

Ryan: Yes. Yes, I'll do it.
Andy: Alright! Thank you so much. It's gonna be awesome.
Ryan: And if I flake, I flake.

Andy, I'm not Jim. The only way that I'm Jim is in the movie version when Jim sees what his future would be like if he never met Pam.

Kevin

Holly: Is Mikanos Greek? He sounds Italian.
Michael: Ugh, you're the fifth person to tell me that today.

Holly broke up with AJ last week, which is the greatest thing that has ever happened...to me. To Holly, it's been the worst week of her life, and I know for a fact that there was a week for her in high school where she got mono and her first period ever. Too much information? That's what I thought, but here I am using it.

Michael

I can't have this go badly. I'm a terrible salesman, and I haven't been making very many sales lately...or ever. This is my only idea on how to turn things around. If it goes badly, I might lose my job. Which would suck, because this is the only job I've ever been good at.

Andy

I get super flexible when I'm nervous.

Andy

Comedy is a place where the mind goes to tickle itself. That's what she said (laughs).

David Brent
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