The Office Season 5 Episode 21: "Two Weeks" Quotes
Creed: [feeding coins into a vent] I think it's 75 cents.
Oscar: That's a lot.
During the course of business, a copier goes though something called 'Normal wear and tear.'
Pam
Kevin: Pam?
Pam: Hmm?
Kevin: When will the new copier be ready?
Pam: I'm working on it Kev.
Kevin: You said it would be ready by today. And it is today.
Pam: It'll be ready soon.
Kevin: Soon could mean anything. Soon could be 3 weeks.
Pam: Is that what 'soon' means to you?
Kevin: Sometimes.
Pam: Then come back soon.
Michael: Where you from?
Isaac: Philly.
Michael: That's a drive!
Isaac: Yeah, well this is one of the few places that's hiring. It's uh, its brutal out there.
Michael: [sighs]
For regional manager I've decided to go with an outside hire. For obvious reasons.
Charles
Michael: Oh! Hey. What is this about?
Andy: Um, you know, cause your leaving and so, it's a farewell...
Michael: Oh.
Andy: I hope I get to work with you someday again.
Michael: Me too, me too. Is this wine?
Andy: Ah... busted. Yes.
Michael: I already have wine.
Andy: Oh.
Stanley: Maybe you should go into your office, close the door, and make some calls about jobs?
Michael: I have a job.
Andy: For four more days.
Pam: Do you have any leads on a job?
Michael: Pam, what you don't understand is that at my level you just don't look in the want-ads for a job. You are head-hunted.
Jim: You called any headhunters?
Michael: Any good headhunter knows I am available.
[tipsy] What am I gonna do? I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. I gonna do a little bit of this, a little bit of that. I gonna stay up all day. Gonna sleep it up all night. I'm gonna give it a OHH! HEY! HO! And I'm going to stop worrying about calories.
Michael
Kevin: Michael is that scotch?
Michael: Scotch with Splenda. Tastes like Splenda, gets drunk like scotch. Clinky, clinky-clink. Come-on... come on, come on.
About a week ago, Michael gave his 2-week notice. And, surprisingly there is a very big difference between Michael trying and Michael not trying.
Jim
I love a good quitting story. It makes me feel like I have control over my own life. Gives me hope. Maybe I will have one of own someday. [laughs] But I dream... so...
Oscar
Pam: Okay focus. Focus. You're in the right building, you're with the right people; what happened?
Michael: I looked at Wallace and I said "I quit!" and as I turned to leave I looked back and I said "You have no idea how high I can fly."
Stanley: Did you tell him how sick of him you were?
Michael: Why would I do that?
Angela: Well, wouldn't it feel good to tell him that he was incompetent?
Kevin: That he's wasted 15 years of your life?
Meredith: Did you spit in his face?
Michael: You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just winged it.
