If you break that girl's heart I will kill you. That's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart I will literally kill you and your entire family.

Michael [to Gabe]

You been with a blonde before? It's the big leagues.

Dwight [to Jim]

Gabe: Michael, you are making this harder than it has to be.
Michael: That's what she said.

Darryl: All I know is if I was a girl and had to choose between a tall dude who loved Asia, and a you-lookin' dude who loved sweaters and wearing sweaters, I'd choose you.
Andy: That's really nice, thank you.
Darryl: And I'd blow your mind.

In the Schrute family the youngest child always raises the others. I've been raising children since I was a baby.

Dwight

Pam I have a loaded gun in my desk at work, and if I ever start acting like that weeny Gabe, I want you to take that gun and I want you to shoot me like a hundred times in the groin, until I'm dead. Okay?

Michael

Tonight might be a convenient night for us to have some intercourse.

Dwight [to Angela]

Of all feelings to base a show around, glee? Thirst, now that's a show I'd watch.

Dwight

There's this thing on Glee called mash-up where two things that don't go together make one great song. Take Gabe. Take Michael. You make Gay-Mike. Best friends.

Erin

Andy: I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? 60 miles to the gallon in the city.
Kevin: No, I bet he's wishing he was strangling somebody.

Gabe: What if it's another Waco?
Erin: It's pronounced wacko.

The Office Season 7 Episode 8 Quotes

Andy: I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? 60 miles to the gallon in the city.
Kevin: No, I bet he's wishing he was strangling somebody.

Gabe: What if it's another Waco?
Erin: It's pronounced wacko.