The Office

The Office "Viewing Party" Quotes

Michael [to Gabe]: If you break that girl's heart I will kill you. That's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart I will literally kill you and your entire family.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight [to Jim]: You been with a blonde before? It's the big leagues.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gabe: Michael, you are making this harder than it has to be.
Michael: That's what she said.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Darryl: All I know is if I was a girl and had to choose between a tall dude who loved Asia, and a you-lookin' dude who loved sweaters and wearing sweaters, I'd choose you.
Andy: That's really nice, thank you.
Darryl: And I'd blow your mind.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: In the Schrute family the youngest child always raises the others. I've been raising children since I was a baby.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Pam I have a loaded gun in my desk at work, and if I ever start acting like that weeny Gabe, I want you to take that gun and I want you to shoot me like a hundred times in the groin, until I'm dead. Okay?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight [to Angela]: Tonight might be a convenient night for us to have some intercourse.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Of all feelings to base a show around, glee? Thirst, now that's a show I'd watch.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Erin: There's this thing on Glee called mash-up where two things that don't go together make one great song. Take Gabe. Take Michael. You make Gay-Mike. Best friends.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Andy: I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? 60 miles to the gallon in the city.
Kevin: No, I bet he's wishing he was strangling somebody.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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