The Office Season 5 Episode 1: "Weight Loss" Quotes
[in a hospital bed] Oh, I went zip lining my third day in Costa Rica. I guess the harness wasn't strapped in exactly right. I broke my neck. And, I've been in the hospital five weeks now. I still haven't seen the beach. It's nice to have visitors.Toby
- Permalink: Oh, I went zip lining my third day in Costa Rica. I guess the ha...
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life. I haven't had a very hard life.Andy
- Permalink: This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life....
Ryan: Jim. I wanted to apologize... for how I treated you last year. I lost sight of myself and now that I've quit the rat race I've realized there's so much more to life than being the youngest VP in the company's history. I've even started volunteering. Giving back to the community.
Jim: Well that's great. You're talking about your court ordered community service?
Ryan: I don't need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean.
Jim: But he did, right?
Ryan: All right.
Jim: All right.
- Permalink: Jim. I wanted to apologize... for how I treated you last year. I...
I'm keeping a list... of everyone who wrongs me. So when I'm back on top, they'll be sorry. Kevin just made the list.Ryan
- Permalink: I'm keeping a list... of everyone who wrongs me. So when I'm bac...
Jim: All right, I'm taking off.
Michael: Booty call.
Jim: Nope, just going to see Pam.
Jim: Maybe put up some shelves.
Michael: Wait a second. [removes condom from wallet, throws it to Jim] I don't want you to end up with a surprise pregnancy like me.
Jim: OK, thank you for ... this.
Michael: You want more?
- Permalink: All right, I'm taking off. Booty call. Nope, just going to s...
Michael: Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is in this country?
Dwight: Shotgun weddings.
Jim: That's not what that is.
Creed: Fright. Being scared to death.
Holly: Obesity-caused illnesses.
Dwight: Obesity-caused illnesses.
Michael: Thank you. Holly is right.
- Permalink: Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is ...
When Michael told us that Jan was pregnant, he led us to believe that he was the father. By telling us that he was the father.Jim
- Permalink: When Michael told us that Jan was pregnant, he led us to believe...
Kevin: Hi Jan.
Kevin: How's the candle game?
Jan: Oh, great. Yeah, Serenity by Jan is kicking ass and taking names. You remember last week when that girl went missing? Guess whose candles they used for the vigil?
Kevin: Cool. Thank God they found her, too.
Jan: Oh, they found her?
- Permalink: Hi Jan. Hi. How's the candle game? Oh, great. Yeah, Sereni...
Why haven't I proposed yet? Uh, actually Pam and I talked about it. And we just decided that, um - well, we didn't want to spend first three months of our engagement apart. And Pam's always said she doesn't want a long engagement. Something in her past, I guess. I'm not really sure of the whole story, but something about a guy who used to work here...Jim
- Permalink: Why haven't I proposed yet? Uh, actually Pam and I talked about ...
Andy: Ang. Ela. [sings] Ella, ella, ella. Under my Angerela. Ella, ella, ella. Ay, ay-
Andy: Hey, check it out. [hands her a brochure] This is The Breakers, Newport, Rhode Island. Huge, awesome gorgeous mansion overlooking the Atlantic. And my dad went to Cornell with the current groundskeeper.
- Permalink: Ang. Ela. Ella, ella, ella. Under my Angerela. Ella, ella, ella...
Tomorrow I start a three-month design program at the Pratt Institute in New York. I will be a little fish in the big apple. What up, 212!Pam
- Permalink: Tomorrow I start a three-month design program at the Pratt Insti...
I happen to be losing weight on my own for my own reasons. The truth is, I have lost a little of my speed, a little of my fire. Here's what I used to look like. Look at those biceps. We were fighting the power and eating whatever we wanted.Stanley
- Permalink: I happen to be losing weight on my own for my own reasons. The t...