The Office

The Office Quotes (Page 2)

Episode 12: "Pool Party"

Jim: I don't mean to brag, but New Year's Eve...I was home by nine.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kevin: Hey Oscar, was that you who just created a party out of thin air? Or was it me?
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I haven't proposed to anyone in years.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 11: "Trivia"

Kevin: A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are you just might catch one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robert: Alligators are dinosaurs Dwight. You know that right?
Dwight: Mmmm, it's complicated.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: You're a perfectly fine toilet. I'm just an extraordinary piece of crap.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 10: "Christmas Wishes"

Erin: I wish she was in a graveyard, under the ground, with worms coming out of her mouth.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kevin: I don't wanna put you out, but if someone's making oatmeal I'll take an apple-cinnamon and a maple-brown sugar in one bowl, with whole milk.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Erin: I'm gonna go do another reverse spit. That's how the cool kids say, get a drink.
 • Rating: Unrated

Angela: Porcupines don't have souls. They're like dogs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Darryl: I meant dressed up compared to normal. You usually dress like a ghostbuster.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Nate: You had me at clookies. I can't wait to find out what they are.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Nate: I thought it was because they're all so rich, they could eat popsicles all the time.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I am always acting in self-defense...occasionally preemptive self-defense.
 • Rating: Unrated

Robert: It's been ten days since I've had sexual intercourse.
Andy: Well you came to the right place.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Gam Gam's name is Ruth. Jim you should know. I introduced you that one time, on speaker phone.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 9: "Mrs. California"

Dwight: What is your goal?
Darryl: Help me!
Dwight: What do you want?!
Darryl: To look good for Val!
Dwight: Val Kilmer?! I don't buy it; that doesn't make any sense!...Wow...We figured out your goal...I am gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: We figured out your goal. I'm gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: What do you want?!?!
Darryl: To look good for Val!
Dwight: Val Kilmer?!? I don't buy it. That doesn't make any sense.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: How do you think the Fonz got so cool? He stretched his pelvic bowl.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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