Angela: Well I think it would be immoral for Erin to cheat on Andy.
Erin: Oh I'm sorry. Didn't you cheat on Andy?
Angela: Yes, and he didn't like it.

I'll be damned if I'm gonna let us lose me.


Clark: All that really specific cat turd business, that was about you right?
Dwight: You got me...I used to collect them.

Client: There he is; my son.
Dwight: He's got cat turd collector written all over him.

We're aware of what it means Oscar, you just do not look cool saying it.


One time he snuck up behind a sleeping deer, and just sawed its head right off.


You can't be scared of a room full of Jims. I love the guy but he's basically Gumby with hair.


Women reach their sexual peak at whatever age Jan was last week.


You can make it in 30 minutes if you drive 240 miles an hour.


Dwight: I hope you've been paying your wig storage bills Jimbo, because it's time for another episode of Handsome and Stinky: Paper Brothers For Hire.

Who's the one who didn't bring lice into the office? Meredith. Sure I gave everybody pink eye once, and my ex keyed a few of their cars, and yeah I BMed in the shredder on New Years. But I didn't bring the lice in. That was all Pam.


Yeah, Kevin asked me out. I was kinda feeling good about reentering the dating pool, but then Kevin asked me out. Thought I might trade up to a new level of man. Then Kevin asked me out.


The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.


Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.