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Season 6, Episode 7: "The Lover"

Michael: That could have gone one of two ways. But I never expected her to get upset.
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Dwight: [to Michael] You know, I really would've appreciated a heads up that you were into dating mothers. I would've introduced you to mine.
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Kevin: Whoa, where'd you get that hat?
Ryan: I'd rather not say.
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Toby: Hey Jim!
Jim: Not now Toby! My God!
Michael: Get the hell out of here, idiot.
Toby: [walking away] What did I do?
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Jim: Okay, as far as dinner tonight, cancel that. And please, for both of our sakes, never, ever, ever see her again.
Michael: I think you're underestimating Pam. I think more than anything she wants me to be happy.
Jim: No. Not more than anything.
Michael: Ok. I have a good thing with the mom.
Jim: Don't call her the mom.
Michael: She's right on my way home from work.
Jim: THEN TAKE A DIFFERENT WAY HOME MAN!
Michael: Alright! I'll take service streets.
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Michael: [to Pam] You're just as stubborn as your mom - when you don't want to do something, you just don't do it.
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Season 6, Episode 6: "Mafia"

Andy: What happened in there?
Michael: Nothing. Other than once again I am thankful that I am a paper salesman.
Dwight: Did he threaten you?
Michael: No Dwight, not everything is a threat.
Andy: Mobsters are!
Michael: There is no such thing as monsters.
Andy: He drives an SUV.
Dwight: I knew it! More trunk-space. Or should I say corpse space.
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Michael: Ok too many different words from coming at me from too many different sentences.
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Kevin: Hello?
Operator: Mr. Halpert? I'm calling from the identity theft department at Capital One. We've detected some unusual activity on your credit card.
Kevin: Oh man do you think it was stolen?
Operator: Sir could you mind verifying your home address?
Kevin: Um, yes, um... [picks up an envelope] Three eight three Linden Ave., Scranton, PA.
Operator: And may I have the last four digits of your social security?
Kevin: Six six five zero.
Operator: Well Mr. Halpert, you're obviously not in San Juan Puerto Rico.
Kevin: Wait a minute, yes I am--
Operator: We're going to go ahead and put a hold on your card.
Kevin: No- that- I think that we should let the criminal use the card a little longer.
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Andy: What do you think?
Dwight: I think you're right. Definitely looks suspicious. And his Southern Italian heritage raises some flags.
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