Season 2, Episode 15: "Boys & Girls"
Michael: This is Darryl, one of our warehouse staff. Darryl, what is your biggest fear?Darryl: My biggest fear is that someone will distract us from getting all the shipments out on time.
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Michael: These guys are down there. They are real men doing real man's work. We are going to learn how a warehouse works. Oh, I think this is gonna work out great because managing the warehouse is a very important part of my job, and I haven't been there in months.
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Jan: I don't know what you're doing here, Michael, but it's very disruptive.
Michael: Just having a little "Guys in the Workplace" thing. [to the men] Why can't boys play with dolls? Why does society force us to use urinals, when sitting down is far more comfortable?
Jan: Can you please do this somewhere else, Michael?
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Dwight: It's a terrible idea.
Jim: What is?
Dwight: Them in there all together. They stay in there too long, they're gonna get on the same cycle. Wreak havoc on our plumbing.
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Michael: "Women in the Workplace." Yeah. Translation: I have been banned from my own conference room so that Jan can talk in secret to all the girls - oh, sorry "women of the workplace." About what? I don't know. Clothes. Me.
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Michael: I just have a few things I want to say.
Jan: What are you doing?
Michael: Just hear me out. What is more important than quality? Equality. Now, studies show that today's woman, the "Ally McBeal woman" as I call her, is at a crossroads.
Jan: Michael...
Michael: No, just - you have come a long way, baby! But I just wanna keep it within reason. They did this up in Albany, and they ended up turning the break room into a lactation room, which is disgusting.
Jan: Now you're really not allowed in this session.
Michael: Well, I'm their boss.
Jan: I'm your boss.
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Pam: Today's a "Women in the Workplace" thing. Jan's coming in from corporate to talk to all the women about, um, I don't know what. But Michael's not allowed. She said that about five times.
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Season 2, Episode 14: "The Carpet"
Michael: Hello?Packer: Hello, I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott.
Michael: Who is this? How did you get this number?
Packer: Your mom, you gay nerd!
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Jim: What do you think of Kelly?
Ryan: I don't know. It depends if you like a little junk in the... [sees camera] She's really cool.
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Kevin: Let me out Michael, I can't hold my breath that long.
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Total Quotes: 1711
