Season 6, Episode 8: "Koi Pond"
Oscar: Jim, did Michael fall into a koi pond?Jim: Mmmmm... it's like Michael said, it was, um... something else.
Michael: It was ... okay, this is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots who put a fish tank in the ground with no cover, and no railing.
Angela: So you fell in.
Michael: No, maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in.
Angela: So a child had fallen in?
Michael: Not yet.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Any messages?
Erin: You're soaking wet.
Michael: Jim and I got caught in a little flash... rain. Flash winds, flash lightning.
Phyllis: Wow. Sounds scary.
Michael: It was. It was. And then in an instant, it wasn't!
Angela: Why isn't Jim wet?
Jim: I... outran it.
Meredith: I don't think it rained. My hip would be throbbing.
Michael: It rained.
Dwight: Michael, can I get you something? A towel, some cocoa?
Michael Scott: Nothing. Cocoa.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Creed: Hey Boss. Did you "Find Nemo"?
Michael: I could name Pixar movies too. Toy Story!
Oscar: Don't you mean, Coy Story?
Phyllis: And when you fell in, did you Flounder?
Dwight: Michael, a flounder is both a kind of fish-
Michael: I know what a flounder is!
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Stanley: Michael don't listen to them.
Michael: Thank you Stanley.
Stanley: You just ignore their carping.
Michael: Okay.
Dwight: Michael.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: You blew the sale, you idiot!
Andy: Let me tell you something, I was never gonna make that sale.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Erin: Uh, David Wallace called.
Michael: Oh he did, what did he say?
Erin: He heard you made a big splash, at the meeting, oh my God that was so mean what I just said and I didn't mean it. It was Kevin and Meredith that put me up to it.
Kevin: I'm gonna kill you.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: You were way meaner to me than I was to you.
Andy: No I wasn't, okay? The very idea of us together made you burst out laughing like you just bit into an Adam Sandler jelly sandwich.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: Truthfully, it wasn't the way he fell in, it was... how long it took him to get out.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 6, Episode 7: "The Lover"
Oscar: Pam, just for the record I think you're over-reacting a little bit. Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions.Pam: Oh, well, thanks Oscar. I was just wondering, how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom?
Oscar: My mother's in a wheelchair.
Pam Beesly: Well he could still... [pause] I'm sorry about that. [pause] Oh, could I just get you to sign this second page?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: Where'd you get that mallard?
Kelly: What the hell is a mallard?
Dwight: THAT!
Kelly: Oh! Professor Damon D. Duck! Jim gave him to me.
Dwight: I gave that to him as a gift. I'm taking that back.
Kelly: If you take it back I'll scream.
Dwight: I'll give you five bucks for it.
Ryan: Twenty.
Dwight Schrute: Ten.
Ryan: Deal.
Kelly: You're so cool.
Ryan: This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 1711
