Michael: What do I write under "reason for visit?"
Jim: Concussion. Why, what'd you write?
Michael: ..."Bringing someone to the hospital."
Jim: Oh, you thought they meant YOUR reason for visit.
Michael: No, you know what? This isn't about me anymore.

Michael: Dwight, what's your middle name?
Dwight: Danger.
Michael: Something with a 'K'.
Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I'm so sad I know that.

Michael: The point is, I am the only one here with a legitimate disability, although I'm sure Stanley's had his fair share of obstacles.
Stanley: I'm not disabled, and neither are you.

Creed: I was in an iron lung when I was a teenager.
Michael: How old are you?

Jim: So where are you shipping your foot?
Michael: Ha ha ha. So where are you shipping...
Dwight: YOUR foot?

In an office, when you are ranking people, manager is higher than captain; on a boat, who knows, it's nebulous.

Michael

You know what? I would save the receptionist. Just wanted to clear that up.

Jim

Michael: Now on this ship that is the office, what is the sales department? Anyone?
Darryl: How about the sales department is the sails?
Michael: Yes Darryl, the sales department makes sales.

Jim: What a night.
Michael: Well it was nice for you. Your friend got engaged.
Jim: She was always engaged.
Michael: Roy said the first one didn't count.
Jim: That's... great. [pauses] You know, to tell you the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam. So...
Michael: Really? You're kidding me. You and Pam? Wow. I would've never put you two together. You really hid it well. God. I usually have a radar for stuff like that. [sighs] You know I made out with Jan?
Jim: Yeah, I know.
Michael: Yep, yep. Well, Pam is cute.
Jim: Yeah. She's really funny. And she's warm. And she's just— I dunno.
Michael: Well if you like her so much, don't give up.
Jim: She's engaged.
Michael: BFD. Engaged ain't married.
Jim: Huh.
Michael: Never, ever, ever give up.

Katy: Do you think that will ever be us?
Jim: No.
Katy: What is wrong with you? Why did you even bring me here tonight?
Jim: I dunno. Let's break up.

Angela: Hey, come inside and talk to me.
Dwight: I can't! Do you want us to run aground, woman?

Jim: What happened to you?
Michael: Captain Jack has a problem with authority.
Jim: Oh, right, 'cause you announced that his ship was sinking.
Michael: He just totally lost it. If you ask me he caused the panic.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 249 in total

The Office Season 2 Quotes

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael

Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. Snare it. Then to keep it happy, you have to tame it. Feed it, care for it. Lovingly. The way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.

Dwight
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