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Michael: What do I write under "reason for visit?"
Jim: Concussion. Why, what'd you write?
Michael: ..."Bringing someone to the hospital."
Jim: Oh, you thought they meant YOUR reason for visit.
Michael: No, you know what? This isn't about me anymore.

Michael: Dwight, what's your middle name?
Dwight: Danger.
Michael: Something with a 'K'.
Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I'm so sad I know that.

Michael: The point is, I am the only one here with a legitimate disability, although I'm sure Stanley's had his fair share of obstacles.
Stanley: I'm not disabled, and neither are you.

Creed: I was in an iron lung when I was a teenager.
Michael: How old are you?

Jim: So where are you shipping your foot?
Michael: Ha ha ha. So where are you shipping...
Dwight: YOUR foot?

In an office, when you are ranking people, manager is higher than captain; on a boat, who knows, it's nebulous.

Michael

You know what? I would save the receptionist. Just wanted to clear that up.

Jim

Michael: Now on this ship that is the office, what is the sales department? Anyone?
Darryl: How about the sales department is the sails?
Michael: Yes Darryl, the sales department makes sales.

Jim: What a night.
Michael: Well it was nice for you. Your friend got engaged.
Jim: She was always engaged.
Michael: Roy said the first one didn't count.
Jim: That's... great. [pauses] You know, to tell you the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam. So...
Michael: Really? You're kidding me. You and Pam? Wow. I would've never put you two together. You really hid it well. God. I usually have a radar for stuff like that. [sighs] You know I made out with Jan?
Jim: Yeah, I know.
Michael: Yep, yep. Well, Pam is cute.
Jim: Yeah. She's really funny. And she's warm. And she's just— I dunno.
Michael: Well if you like her so much, don't give up.
Jim: She's engaged.
Michael: BFD. Engaged ain't married.
Jim: Huh.
Michael: Never, ever, ever give up.

Katy: Do you think that will ever be us?
Jim: No.
Katy: What is wrong with you? Why did you even bring me here tonight?
Jim: I dunno. Let's break up.

Angela: Hey, come inside and talk to me.
Dwight: I can't! Do you want us to run aground, woman?

Jim: What happened to you?
Michael: Captain Jack has a problem with authority.
Jim: Oh, right, 'cause you announced that his ship was sinking.
Michael: He just totally lost it. If you ask me he caused the panic.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 249 in total

The Office Season 2 Quotes

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael

I never smile if I can help it. Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.

Dwight