The Office Season 2 Quotes
Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say "Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth."
Michael
Happy birthday Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.
Michael
Michael: You're the expert, is this enough to get 20 people plastered?
Store Clerk: 15 bottles of vodka? Yeah, that should do it.
Stupid corporate wet blankets... it's not like booze ever killed anyone.
Michael
Phyllis: Everyone, this is my boyfriend Bob.
Kevin: Kevin Malone.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Stanley: Stanley Hudson.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: Ryan Howard.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: What line of work you in, Bob?
Improv Instructor: Michael, what did you tell him?
Michael: nothing...
Improv Instructor: Then why are his hands up?... Bill...
Improv Classmate 1: He told me he couldn't show it to me, but he has a gun.
Ryan: Hey, is Katy coming?
Jim: I have not really talked to her lately.
Ryan: Do you mind if I give her a call?
Jim: We can talk about that later.
My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. He is very real.
Jim
[on his approach to improv] Think about this, what is the most exciting thing that can happen on TV or in movies, or in real-life? Somebody has a gun. That's why I always start with a gun, because you can't top it. You just can't.
Michael
There are certain things a boss does not share with his employees. His salary, that would depress them. His bed. And I am not going to tell them that I will be reading their emails.
Michael
I'm gonna have to delete a lot of stuff. [pause] A LOT of stuff.
Kevin
I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections...there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we're downriver from that old bread factory...
Dwight