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Jan: So are you still in the middle of the Performance Reviews then?
Michael: Oh, no no. I finished all of that. I'm very fast. I'm not too fast. Not like "Wam bam, thank you ma'am." But I do say "Thank you ma'am." Not like "Wam bam." Not that there's anything wrong with "Wam bam..." If it's consensual.
- Permalink: So are you still in the middle of the Performance Reviews then? ...
I'm a little confused, because at first its like, all "Kissy Kissy." And then its like, all regret because "Oh, I regret that. But, wait. I'm still gonna call you. But-- But! We're just gonna talk business. And I may come down there and fire you if you don't do your job." But what were we talking about when we first kissed? Business.Michael
- Permalink: I'm a little confused, because at first its like, all Kissy Kiss...
Michael: It's nice to see you.
Jan: Nice to see you too, Michael.
Jan: Not like that.
- Permalink: It's nice to see you. Nice to see you too, Michael. Really? ...
Michael: Attention please. Jan Levinson's coming very soon and so we're going to have our weekly suggestion box meeting. So you can get in your constructive compliments ASAP.
Ryan: Don't you mean "constructive criticism?"
Michael: What did I say?
Kelly: You said "constructive compliments." That doesn't make any sense.
- Permalink: Attention please. Jan Levinson's coming very soon and so we're g...
Michael: Pam, I have ideas on a daily basis. I know I do. I have a clear memory of telling people my ideas. Um, is there any chance that you wrote any of my ideas down? Like in a folder? A little idea folder?
Michael: That's unfortunate.
- Permalink: Pam, I have ideas on a daily basis. I know I do. I have a clear ...
Jan: I expect you to forget anything that you think may have happened between us and exhibit completely professional behavior.
Michael: Been thinking about you.
- Permalink: I expect you to forget anything that you think may have happened...
I actually look forward to performance reviews. I did the youth beauty pageant circuit, and I enjoyed that quite a bit. I really enjoy being judged. I believe I hold up very well to even severe scrutiny.Angela
- Permalink: I actually look forward to performance reviews. I did the youth ...
Pam: Michael and Jan definitely made out, maybe more.
Jim: Oh, yelch. Oh! Also, it is Thursday, but Dwight thinks it's Friday. So, keep that going.
- Permalink: Michael and Jan definitely made out, maybe more. Oh, yelch. Oh...
Stanley: Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their words.
Stanley: Oh yes. Let's listen to it again. And this time, really listen to the pauses.
Michael: God. Stanley, that's frickin brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets? I'm sorry...
Stanley: Oh, it's OK. I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto in fact.
Michael: No kidding?
- Permalink: Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their ...
I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! I never go out on a Thursday night. What the hell was I thinking?Dwight
- Permalink: I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap...
Today is Thursday, but Dwight thinks that it's Friday. Aaaand, that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.Jim
- Permalink: Today is Thursday, but Dwight thinks that it's Friday. Aaaand, t...
Dwight: Oh, hey. Listen, Jim. Here's a little tip for your performance review.
Dwight: Tell Michael that we should be stocking more of the double-tabbed manila file folders.
Jim: We don't have double-tabbed manila file folders.
Dwight: Oh yes we do.
Jim: No we don't.
Dwight: Yeah, it's a new product. So you should just suggest that to him, and then he'll be sure to give you a raise.
Jim: All right. Well, I'm not asking for a raise. I'm going to actually be asking for a pay decrease.
Dwight: Uh, that is so stupid. What if he gives it to you?
Jim: Then I win.
- Permalink: Oh, hey. Listen, Jim. Here's a little tip for your performance r...