Dwight: It's a terrible idea.
Jim: What is?
Dwight: Them in there all together. They stay in there too long, they're gonna get on the same cycle. Wreak havoc on our plumbing.

Michael: "Women in the Workplace." Yeah. Translation: I have been banned from my own conference room so that Jan can talk in secret to all the girls - oh, sorry "women of the workplace." About what? I don't know. Clothes. Me.

Michael: I just have a few things I want to say.
Jan: What are you doing?
Michael: Just hear me out. What is more important than quality? Equality. Now, studies show that today's woman, the "Ally McBeal woman" as I call her, is at a crossroads.
Jan: Michael...
Michael: No, just - you have come a long way, baby! But I just wanna keep it within reason. They did this up in Albany, and they ended up turning the break room into a lactation room, which is disgusting.
Jan: Now you're really not allowed in this session.
Michael: Well, I'm their boss.
Jan: I'm your boss.

Today's a "Women in the Workplace" thing. Jan's coming in from corporate to talk to all the women about, um, I don't know what. But Michael's not allowed. She said that about five times.

Pam

Michael: Hello?
Packer: Hello, I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott.
Michael: Who is this? How did you get this number?
Packer: Your mom, you gay nerd!

Jim: What do you think of Kelly?
Ryan: I don't know. It depends if you like a little junk in the... [sees camera] She's really cool.

Let me out Michael, I can't hold my breath that long.

Kevin

Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them, but now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask so they can hear me say, "Uhh...no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."

Michael

[telling Jim what to say to Ryan] Just tell him that I'm up for anything, I'm mean I'm not a slut but who knows ....

Kelly

I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming and would applaud as I walked away.

Michael

I am a big Fear Factor fan. I'm a fan of anything Joe Rogan does actually.

Michael

Michael: I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about.
Stanley: That's not what what a hate crime is.
Michael: Well I hated it. A lot!

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 249 in total

The Office Season 2 Quotes

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael

Jim: Um, is it me or does it smell like updog in here?
Michael: What's updog?
Jim: Nothing much, what's up with you?

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