The Office Season 3 Quotes
Oscar: You're the one who said we needed more culture.
Gil: This is culture to you?
Oscar: It's her first try.
Gil: Yeah, on Van Gogh's first try, he drew the hands of the peasants.
Oscar: Meaning what?
Gil: Meaning, real art takes courage, okay? And honesty.
Oscar: Well, those aren't Pam's strong points.
Gil: Yeah, exactly. That's why this is... motel art.
- Permalink: You're the one who said we needed more culture. This is cultur...
Ryan: Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was just trying to do my presentation, and... of course, I was wrong to suggest that Dunder-Mifflin might ever go out of business. But you don't have to fire me.
Michael: Fire you? No, no no. You are moving... to the annex.
Ryan: To the annex? Where... Kelly is?
Michael: A good manager doesn't fire people. He hires people and inspires people. ... People, Ryan. And people will never go out of business.
- Permalink: Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was just trying to do my presentation, ...
Ryan: It wasn't personal.
Michael: Business is always personal. It's the most personal thing in the world. When we get back to the office, pack your things.
Ryan: Pack my-
Michael: You heard me, pack your things.
- Permalink: It wasn't personal. Business is always personal. It's the most...
Meredith: I really want to come out!
Creed: Good night, Mary Beth!
- Permalink: I really want to come out! Good night, Mary Beth!
Kelly: What are you doing? You'd better not hurt that little bat.
Creed: Animals can't feel pain.
Kelly: Don't hurt that bat, Creed! It's a living thing with feelings and a family!
Dwight: Flush him towards the door. On my go... NOW!
Kelly: KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IIIT!
Kevin: [locks bat in break room] I... am a hero!
- Permalink: What are you doing? You'd better not hurt that little bat. Ani...
Dwight: Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions. We form an allegiance-
Dwight: -to use sudden violence.
Dwight: Do you have the tools to turn a wooden mop handle into a stake?
Creed: What size?
- Permalink: Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions. We form an ...
I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once. But by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.Dwight
- Permalink: I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunte...
Michael: Okay, I'm seeing some confused... faces out there. Let me slow down a little bit. Break this down. Okay. The more stickers you sell, the more profit, fancy word for money, you have to buy PlayStations and Beanie Babies.
Michael: ...And products!
Ryan: What we normally do here is more of a question and answer thing.
Michael: Well... okay, I was just kind of getting it going. Um, alright. Well, okay, we can do questions. Okay. Very good. First hand up.
Business Student #1: Sir, as a company that primary distributes paper, how have you adapted your business model to function in an increasingly paperless world?
Michael: We can't overestimate the value of computers. Yes, they are great for playing games and forwarding funny emails. But real business is done on paper, okay? Write that down.
- Permalink: Okay, I'm seeing some confused... faces out there. Let me slow d...
Toby: Oh, this looks great. I'd, I'd love to be there, but my daughter's play is tonight. ... Damnit! You know, one of the other parents will probably videotape it.
Pam: Oh! No, you should go.
Toby: Well, it's important to support local art, you know. And what they do is not art.
- Permalink: Oh, this looks great. I'd, I'd love to be there, but my daughter...
If a vampire bat was in the U.S., it would make sense for it to come to a "sylvania." Like PENN-sylvania. Now that doesn't mean that Jim is going to become a vampire. Only that he carries the vampiric germ.Dwight
- Permalink: If a vampire bat was in the U.S., it would make sense for it to ...
The simple solution would be to open a window... if we had... windows that could open.Toby
- Permalink: The simple solution would be to open a window... if we had... wi...
Michael: Okay, this is it. Ryan is doing my intro right now.
Ryan: ... Dunder-Mifflin can't compete with the modern chains, and management is unwilling, or unable, to adapt. Their customers are dying off...
Michael: I can't hear what he's saying, but he looks like he's really into it.
- Permalink: Okay, this is it. Ryan is doing my intro right now. ... Dunder...
Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly... she's not yo' ho no mo'.Michael
- Permalink: Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for yo...
Jan: All right, well are you gonna take care of this?
Jan: What did I tell you about "yeppers?"
Michael: I don't... remember.
Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
- Permalink: All right, well are you gonna take care of this? Yeppers. Wh...