The Office

The Office Season 3 Quotes (Page 12)

Season 3 Episode 10: "A Benihana Christmas "

Michael: Hey! I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candy Pams. And perhaps some Pam chops. With mint...
Pam: Can I help you, Michael?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.
Jim: Wow. Win-win.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 9: "The Convict"

Jim: Where did you learn all of this?
Prison Mike: Internet.
Jim: So, not prison.
Prison Mike: And prison. Fifty-fifty... both. Look, prison stinks is what I'm saying.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Andy: Pam-alam-a-ding-dong. Listen, you're cute. There's no getting around it. So, I don't know if you like country music, but I was thinking that maybe one of these days we could drive out to a field, crank up some tunes, smoke a few Macanudos, maybe even toss around a disc around. Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, Ampay?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: What was the worst part about prison? The dementors. They flew around and sucked out your soul. and it hurt.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Michael: Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special. Baseball cap on backwards. Baggy pants. He says something ordinary, like 'Yo, that's shizzle.' Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who were you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop da soap. Don't drop da soap.
Ryan: Michael, please.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: Kinda sounds like prison is better than Dunder Mifflin.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Quick question — do you play the guitar?
Andy: I play the banjo.
Jim: Hold on, let me think about that...yes, that'll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?
Andy: [singing] You know I can, my man.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Karen: You can't give paper clips to a baby. He might swallow them.
Creed: Oh it's okay, I've got tons of them.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kevin: I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because... [whispers] it sounds an awful lot like what I do here... Every. Day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: You show me a white man you trust, and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam, tell me a white person you trust.
Pam: My dad.
Michael: Danny Glover.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I live to frolf.
 • Rating: Unrated

Angela: Sure. Let's protect the convicts. At the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a 90-pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that.
Michael: Good.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy. Who went to prison for... polluting a black guy's lake.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I didn't hire an ex-convict. Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Hey! Look at me! I'm a baby! I'm one of those babies from Look Who's Talking! What am I thinking? Look at all those staplers! What's a stapler? I don't even know- I'm a baby! Hey Mom! I'm thirsty! I'm thirsty, Momma! I want some milk! And you know where milk comes from: breasts!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: [picks up phone] Jim Halpert.
Andy: I am so horny.
Jim: Okay, I can't help you with that.
Andy: Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.
Jim: She is dating Ryan, I think.
Andy: Oh, and I care why?
Jim: She's high-maintenance.
Andy: Next. How about... Angela. Blondes are more fun. C'mon, trust me on that.
Jim: Yeah, trust me, that would be fun for no one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 8: "Branch Closing"

Michael: [waiting outside CFO's house] What are we still doing here? It's over. Let's go home, get the car. Ohhh, this was such a stupid idea. This was so stupid. [cries] I'm such a stupid idiot. I let everybody down. Everybody hates me. I lost everybody's jobs. Nobody likes me anymore!
Dwight: [checks his phone] OH MY GOD!
Michael: What?
Dwight: Stamford is closed! Michael, we're not closed! Stamford is closed!
Michael: Stamford is closed?! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! How did we do it?
Dwight: I don't... have no idea.
Michael: I don't understand.
 • Rating: Unrated

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