The Office Season 3 Quotes
Jim: Quick question — do you play the guitar?
Andy: I play the banjo.
Jim: Hold on, let me think about that...yes, that'll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?
Andy: [singing] You know I can, my man.
Karen: You can't give paper clips to a baby. He might swallow them.
Creed: Oh it's okay, I've got tons of them.
I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because... [whispers] it sounds an awful lot like what I do here... Every. Day.
Kevin
Michael: You show me a white man you trust, and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam, tell me a white person you trust.
Pam: My dad.
Michael: Danny Glover.
I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals.
Dwight
I live to frolf.
Andy
Angela: Sure. Let's protect the convicts. At the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a 90-pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that.
Michael: Good.
Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy. Who went to prison for... polluting a black guy's lake.
Michael
I didn't hire an ex-convict. Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist.
Michael
Michael: Hey! Look at me! I'm a baby! I'm one of those babies from Look Who's Talking! What am I thinking? Look at all those staplers! What's a stapler? I don't even know- I'm a baby! Hey Mom! I'm thirsty! I'm thirsty, Momma! I want some milk! And you know where milk comes from: breasts!
Jim: [picks up phone] Jim Halpert.
Andy: I am so horny.
Jim: Okay, I can't help you with that.
Andy: Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.
Jim: She is dating Ryan, I think.
Andy: Oh, and I care why?
Jim: She's high-maintenance.
Andy: Next. How about... Angela. Blondes are more fun. C'mon, trust me on that.
Jim: Yeah, trust me, that would be fun for no one.
Sometimes what brings the kids together is hating the lunch lady. Although that'll change. Because, by the end of the fourth grade, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most.
Michael