The Office

The Office Season 3 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 3 Episode 14: "Ben Franklin"

Michael: Number eight, learn how to take off a woman's bra.
Pam: What?
Michael: We will demonstrate on Pam.
Pam: No. No.
Michael: Come on.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: To jump start a car, first pop the hood. Then you take these bad boys and clip them anywhere on the engine. Then you take these and clip them wherever.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: Here are some things that I want to teach you that your mother won't be able to.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Hello son. If you're watching this, that means I'm already dead. Life is a road-
Dwight: How do you know it's going to be a boy?
Michael: How, would you stop interrupting please?
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Guys! Beef: it's what's for dinner! Who wants some man meat?
Dwight: I do! I want some man meat!
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then, my man meat he shall have.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I don't care what Jim says, that is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 13: "The Return"

Michael: It takes a big man to admit his mistake and that's what I did. The important thing is I learned something. I don't want somebody sucking up to me because they think I'm going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me. Hmm.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Hey, Ryan?
Ryan: What?
Jim: You wanna pull a prank on Andy?
Ryan: Not right now, but ask me again 10 years ago.
Jim: I liked you better when you were the temp.
Ryan: Yeah, me too.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Hey.
Karen: Hey.
Jim: So Andy is in rare form today.
Karen: Yeah, you should not encourage him.
Jim: Encourage him? I'm the victim, okay? He's fishing for me. We've got to do something.
Karen: Look, I've got like fifteen new clients I inherited from Dwight and each file is password protected with a different mythical creature. So, I'm sorry. I can't.
Jim: Fine. Party pooper.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: I really have no preference. We don't even have to have a party.
Michael: No, hey, hey. Don't be ridiculous. Of course we are going to have a party. A celebration of Oscar. Oscar night. And I want it to be Oscar-specific.
Oscar: Michael --
Michael: No, no, no. I mean, not because you're gay. Your gayness does not define you. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you to me. And I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. So Phyllis... I want you to go find firecrackers. And a Chihuahua. Pam, in the frozen food section, Swanson makes a delightful chimichanga.
Oscar: Why don't you have me riding in on a donkey into the office like Pepe.
Michael: Ah, a burro, of course. If Oscar wants a donkey, let's get him one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Love that Andy, right? Solid fellow. Seems smart enough. Likes me a lot. A lot. Too much. Like a crazy person. A little. Not super crazy... just... there's something about him that creeps me out. I can't really explain it. He's always up in my bidness. Which is ebonics for "being in my face and annoying the bejesus out of me." I don't understand how someone could have so little self-awareness.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Angela: Oscar? I have a question. Would you like to join the party planning committee?
Oscar: The one of all women?
Angela: Yeah.
Oscar: Because I'm gay?
Angela: No. No. Certain events have transpired. And I've thought about certain things. And I'm sorry for the way those certain events transpired.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Hey, boss.
Michael: Hey, what's up.
Andy: Noooothin'. Ehrrrrrrrrr. Heh. Man. TGI-Wednesday. Am I right?
Michael: Yep.
Andy: Gonna go home. Get my beer on. Get my "Lost" on. What are you doing later, wanna hang out?
Michael: I don't know. Maybe.
Andy: Well, I will take that as a maybe.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: Hey, everyone.
Kevin: Oh, hello, Oscar. How was your GAY-cation?
Oscar: Oh, that's very funny.
Kevin: Yeah? I thought of it like, two seconds after you left!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: You gonna answer it?
Andy: I called it myself. I just thought you'd get a kick out of the new ring.
Jim: Yikes.
Andy: Side note. I'd just like to say I'm thrilled to be working directly beneath you.
Jim: Thank you.
Andy: I feel I have a lot to learn from you, even though you're younger and have less experience. So here's to the future... Andy and the Tuna.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: For your convenience, I've broken it down into three parts: professional resume, athletic and special skills resume, and Dwight Schrute trivia.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I have left Dunder-Mifflin after many record-breaking years and am officially on the job market. And it's very exciting.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I don't want somebody sucking up to me because they think I am going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jim: I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win.
 • Rating: Unrated

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