The Office Season 5 Quotes
Michael: Oscar, what were you going to say?
Oscar: Nothing. I didn't say anything.
Michael: All right.
Erin: Do I still have a job here?
Michael: Not important. Okay, alright. Yes. Yes, you have a job. Frankly, you have a job because Ryan and Pam are starting with us as salesmen.
Dwight: Wait, what?
Stanley: How is that going to work?
Michael: It's going to work very smoothly, because Pam and Ryan are bringing over a ton of clients from Michael Scott Paper Company and--
Phyllis: You mean the clients you stole from us.
Dwight: Yeah, aren't we getting those clients back?
Michael: No, you lost those clients.
Andy: I call foul, sir.
- Permalink: Oscar, what were you going to say? Nothing. I didn't say anyth...
When I needed salespeople for my new paper company, everyone here turned their back on me. Am I going to ask them to beg for forgiveness? No. Am I going to ask for big, crying apology? No. Am I going to ask them to slit their wrists for me? No. I just want a tiny, microscopic version of that.Michael
- Permalink: When I needed salespeople for my new paper company, everyone her...
Michael: If there is something that you would like to say as a group, then by all means, you may say it to me right now.
Angela: People are dressed inappropriately.
Michael: Take it up with Toby. What I want you to do, is I want you to look inward. And I want you to reflect. And I want you to say something different.
Jim: Can you give us a hint?
- Permalink: If there is something that you would like to say as a group, the...
Michael: Someone is returning! He started his own company, and now he's back. Who could it be? I'll give you a hint. He is a man. A man you have missed with all your heart. A man who has ruined all other men for you. Who is it?
Ryan: [whispering] Who is it?
Pam: [whispering] Who is it?
Michael: [whispering] It's Michael Scott. [applause; Michael jumps through sign] Hold it up. Conference room, five minutes.
- Permalink: Someone is returning! He started his own company, and now he's b...
At least once a year, I like to bring in some of my Kevin's Famous Chili. The trick is to undercook the onions. Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot. I'm serious about this stuff. I'm up the night before pressing garlic and dicing whole tomatoes. I toast my own Ancho chilies. It's a recipe passed down from Malones for generations. It's probably the thing I do best.Kevin
- Permalink: At least once a year, I like to bring in some of my Kevin's Famo...
Creed: I want to set you up with my daughter.
Jim: Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
Creed: I thought you were gay.
Jim: Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Creed: I don't know.
- Permalink: I want to set you up with my daughter. Oh, I'm engaged to Pam....
There are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day he is born. The day he grows hair. The day he starts a business. And the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin. What have I learned from all of this? It is far too early to tell. I just know that I am flying high and I don't even want to think about it. I just want to enjoy it.Michael
- Permalink: There are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day h...
David: Ryan cost Dunder Mifflin hundreds of thousands of dollars, Michael. Ryan is-
Michael: You know, David. I don't care if Ryan murdered his entire family he is like a son to me.
David: Do you realize what you're asking for here? You're talking about salary plus health benefits-
Michael: And dental this time.
David: Insurance, taxes, social security for three people. This is a heck of a lot more than 60 grand. You're talking about a multi-million dollar buy-out.
Michael: These are our demands.
David: Your company cannot be worth that much.
Michael: Our company is worth nothing.
- Permalink: Ryan cost Dunder Mifflin hundreds of thousands of dollars, Micha...
Michael: Okay, then I want Pam back.
David: Uh, you already have a new receptionist-
Pam: Thank you.
David: Pam's not a salesperson.
Michael: Yes, she is. At the Michael Scott Paper Company in its heyday.
- Permalink: Okay, then I want Pam back. Uh, you already have a new recepti...