The Office

The Office Season 5 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 5 Episode 21: "Two Weeks"

Pam: Okay focus. Focus. You're in the right building, you're with the right people; what happened?
Michael: I looked at Wallace and I said "I quit!" and as I turned to leave I looked back and I said "You have no idea how high I can fly."
Stanley: Did you tell him how sick of him you were?
Michael: Why would I do that?
Angela: Well, wouldn't it feel good to tell him that he was incompetent?
Kevin: That he's wasted 15 years of your life?
Meredith: Did you spit in his face?
Michael: You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just winged it.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Pam: He finally has a story everyone wants to hear... and he knows it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I had no idea when I got in that car and headed to New York I was going to quit. I got on that ramp and I thought two hours, two hours to go. Feeling good. Listen to some tunes. Should've peed before I left.
Kelly: Michael get to the good part.
Michael: Okay, so. I get up to the building, I get to the revolving door... broken! So I have to take the normal door.
Oscar: At least he is in the building.
Michael: No, No! I was so nervous it was the wrong building! I walked into the wrong building!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 20: "New Boss"

David: We will move some money around, and I will personally see to it that you have your party, you have your figs. I will be in attendance. It's gonna be great. How's that?
Michael: I quit.
David: What?
Michael: You have no idea how high I can fly.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Angela: Charles and Kelly? Absolutely not. He is a sophisticated man. He does not need to go dumpster-diving for companionship, ok?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Kelly: I could see our kids facing obstacles being half-Black and half-Indian, but it's so worth it, you guys.
Phyllis: It's just me here.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Jim: And for my next trick, I will make my career disappear.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Michael: Fifteen years I have been here. And I have sacrificed a lot.
David: Yes.
Michael: I've put having a family on hold.
David: We didn't ask you to do that.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Michael: Canceled my 15th anniversary party. Just pulled the rug out from under me. And he said no figs. I've already bought em. And I don't have a place to store them. So, I feel like I've been sort of boned.
David: Michael. Listen-
Michael: Do you talk to him about this? You've talked to him all day, obviously. Did you talk to him about this?
David: Well, I didn't know about the figs, specifically ...
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Charles: Ok, Michael, I'm dissolving this committee.
Michael: What?
Charles: Yeah, I mean, come on. This is a work place. It isn't designed for your vanity.
Michael: Newsflash: I've been here for 15 years. Headline: You have been here one day. End of story. You have no right to cancel my 15th anniversary party. End of story. End of story. End of story!
Charles: I don't know if I have hurt your feelings or you do not disagree with my methods, but it is over.
Michael: Ok, no, no, no, no. No. You know what? I'm going to New York. And I am going to talk to David Wallace. I'm going to tell him everything. And I'm sorry to say, you're screwed. And, you know what? You are gonna be through. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to do that to you. Do you even know how paper is made? It's not like steel. You don't put it into a furnace. If you put paper into a furnace, you know what would happen? You'd ruin it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Charles: Excuse me, guys. What's going on in here?
Michael: Party Planning Committee. Not your concern, Charles.
Charles: This doesn't seem like a good way to spend company time.
Michael: Really? Well then how would we come up with great ideas like Jim's? Go ahead.
Jim: No, I would like to get back to work, actually, please.
Charles: Whatcha got, Jim?... What is a two-way petting zoo?
Jim: You pet the animals and they pet you back.
 • Rating: Unrated

Charles: What exactly is the PPC?
Phyllis: Oh, that's the Party Planning Committee. They spend hours planning parties.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: And then, out of that cake, pops another stripper holding a smaller cake. And then an even smaller stripper pops out of that one.
Michael: What is that smaller stripper holding?
Pam: Cupcake. It's cupcakes and strippers all the way down.
Michael: Ok.
 • Rating: Unrated

Charles: I will walk away.
Michael: I'm gonna walk away.
Andy: Stop doing that!
Michael: I'm kidding around, wow! Relax, everybody, it's just a joke. It's fine. Boy, so touchy. PPC, let's continue our morning meeting in the conference room.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: I can tell Michael's mood by which comedy routine he chooses to do, the more infantile, the more upset he is. And he just skipped the Ace Ventura talking butt thing. He never skips it. This is bad.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: Michael?
Michael: Yep.
Kevin: I just realized that I used the 2008 calendar to do the spreadsheets for January and February. I may need to come in this weekend to fix it.
Michael: Do some overtime? You want to do some overtime this weekend? You know what, Kevin, I applaud your initiative. Yes. You may.
Charles: Uh, no, sorry, Michael. No, Kevin, right? We're going to need you to do that during office hours.
Kevin: Ok.
Charles: Ok.
Michael: Kevin? This is my branch. You don't ask Charles. You ask me. I say, approved.
Charles: That's not the way it's gonna work.
Michael: Yes it is!
Charles: No, it is not.
Michael: No, it is not.
Charles: Ok, so we're on the same page, great.
Michael: Ok, so we're on the same page, great.
Charles: Ok, Michael, what are you doing?
Michael: Ok, Michael, what are you doing?
Charles: No, seriously.
Michael: No, seriously.
Charles: How old are you?
Michael: How old are you?
Pam: Oh no.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kelly: Should I seduce him?
Angela: No. No one wants to see that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Angela: Thanks again, Charles.
Kelly: Thank you.
Michael: Nobody thanked me.
Jim: Thanks, Charles.
Michael: For breakfast.
 • Rating: Unrated

Charles: Oh, uh, Pam? Hey everyone, lunch is on me today.
Angela: That is so unnecessary!
Michael: Are you kidding me with this? On the day that I bring in breakfast?
Charles: It's no big deal.
Michael: I wish you had told us sooner, because I was going to go to the vending machine and get an egg salad.
Charles: You still have that option.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I don't need to be managed, Charles. And if you want pick up some tips, observing here, and take them to the other branches, it's all good. But Jan would mostly come by when she was super horny, and Ryan would come by to visit his parents and do laundry, so... Are we clear?
Charles: That's not how I plan on doing things.
Michael: Ok, alright, well I'll just bounce that off David, see what comes back.
Charles: I'll tell David what he needs to know. Sorry. David wants it this way.
Michael: Whatever David wants.
Charles: Ok.
 • Rating: Unrated

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