The Office

The Office Season 5 Quotes (Page 12)

Season 5 Episode 20: "New Boss"

Michael: I just got off the horn with David Wallace, and he said that you and I should try to get to know each other better. And I agree, so what I would like you to do is tell me something that you've never told anybody before.
Charles: No.
Michael: Come on. What's your wife's name? Where did you work before you came here?
Charles: Saticoy Steel.
Michael: Beautiful. See, African-Americans have such a rich history of unusual names.
Charles: No, I worked at a company called Saticoy Steel.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Listen, why don't we just leave that position vacant? Truth be told, I think I thrive under a lack of accountability.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Ask him about the party.
Michael: [on speakerphone] Oh, right. David, are you coming to my 15th anniversary party?
David: I'll give it my best shot, Michael.
Dwight: No the other thing.
Michael: Oh, ok. If we hire Cirque de Soleil as salaried employees, will that help us with year-end tax stuff? [longsilence]
Dwight: He hung up?
David: No.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: [on speakerphone] David, it was my understanding that I was not going to be managed.
David: What gave you that idea?
Michael: It was my understanding.
David: I see.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I am thrilled that the new boss has taken such an active interest in all of the responsibilities that I'm supposed to have. Thrilled.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Ok, ok, you know what? I think this has been great. I think this gives us a lot to think about, doesn't it? Charles Miner, ladies and gentlemen. [starts round of applause] He has a long trip home. Thank you for coming in. We have to get back to work.
Charles: Michael, I'm going to stay for the day.
Michael: Oh no, no, no. You don't have to do that. I've got this covered. This was just a meet-and-greet.
Charles: No, it's a little bit more than that. I'm going to set up in here, ok?
 • Rating: Unrated

Charles: Yeah, I will. What I told Michael last week-
Michael: Charles is going to tell you.
Charles: Is that we are cutting three percent across the board, which means we will no longer be matching 401k contributions. All overtime requests will need to come through the corporate office.
Stanley: Fantastic.
Michael: Well, it's not official.
Charles: It is official. It is official. And actually, guys, I'm encouraging branches to consider a freeze on discretionary spending.
 • Rating: Unrated

Charles: Thank you, Michael. Thank you for the C-shaped bagels.
Michael: Oh! Well...
Charles: That's great.
Michael: Above and beyond.
Charles: Hey, you know we're in tough times and we're not immune to this economy.
Michael: That's true.
Charles: But the goal is to, you know, fight our way through this.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: This little hell-raiser is Angela. She has slept with a bunch of different guys in the office. One over there, in the orange [points to Andy]
Andy: Hey-o!
Michael: There you go! Where's the other?
Charles: You know, Michael, I don't need to know everyone's sexual history.
Michael: Well, perfect, because we have now arrived at Kevin and he has no sexual history.
Kevin: Hey!
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: This is Oscar Martinez. He is Latino. And he just got out of a long-term relationship with a man, Gil, who broke his heart. But he didn't bring any of that into work, it did not affect his job performance whatsoever and I am very proud of him for that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: He just had to wear his tux today.
Jim: I thought it'd be funny.
Pam: Took him 40 minutes to get ready.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: Hey, how you doing? Jim Halpert, sales. Just wanted to say, if you need anything, let me know.
Charles: Why are you wearing a tuxedo?
Jim: I didn't think you'd notice. Uh, it's funny actually, there's another salesman out here, Dwight Schrute, and he sent out this memo, as he always does, and, uh, it was about professionalism in the workplace. Of course, he singled me out. So I just had to mess with him.
Charles: Uh.
Jim: Oh, you'd understand if you read the memo which I should probably get you, there's probably one in a drawer... uh. It was pretty crazy. But, uh, not more crazy than wearing a tux, at work, I grant you that... so, uh.
Charles: Your name is Jim?
Jim: Jim Halpert, yep. So, um, just going to let you get back to it...
 • Rating: Unrated

Kelly: My god, he's like a black George Clooney.
Angela: Really? I don't see it. I mean, he's ok, he's not unattractive, it's ...
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I met this guy at corporate last week and we were just digging each other's vibe. I was totally grooving on him and vice-versa. And besides, the last two people to have his job were Jan and Ryan. The former was my lover, and the latter my best friend. So, who knows? I do. [in British accent] It's gonna be mental! It's going to be mental.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Surprise! As you can see, I turned the bagels from O's into C's, for Charles.
Charles: Thank you.
Michael: Took me all night.
Pam: This is what you did last night?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Originally founded in 1866, Scranton quickly became one of Pennsylvania's largest anthracite coal-mining communities.
Michael: Surprise, there is nothing in here. The real surprise is in the conference room. Let's go! Oh! God! Ok, come on, come on!
Dwight: We'll finish it up later, but essentially what we're talking about is...
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Well, well, well, who have we here? Ah, it is Prince Charles Miner. At your service. Everybody, this is Sir Charles Miner and he is the new VP for the Northeast region. So, just give it up for this big guy, right? Give it up. [leads round of applause] Here he is.
Charles: I was-
Michael: Wow! Hold that thought. I want everybody to go into the break room. I have a little surprise for you. Go ahead. You too. Dwight, would you escort our guest in there? C'mon, here we go, don't be shy, don't be shy, you're one of us. [whispers] Dwight, stall him a little, I have to get the fish.
Jim: Hey.
Michael: Yes.
Jim: Really wish you would have told me the new boss was coming today.
Michael: What? No, I didn't want to make everybody nervous.
Jim: Nope. I mean, I could have brought a change of clothes, or-
Michael: You look dynamite. What are you talking about? Very slick. Ok, get the fish.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: Hi, can I help you?
Charles: Yeah, I'm Charles Miner, here to see Michael Scott.
Pam: Sure. Just one second. Please have a seat.
Michael: [on speakerphone] Yes?
Pam: Michael, there's a Charles Miner here to see you.
Michael: Miner? I hardly know her! Hello?
Pam: Yeah, are you coming out now?
Michael: Uh-huh.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Oh, here's one: a string quartet, playing classy-cal music.
Michael: You know, that's good but it's not classy. I need something classy like the opening of a car dealership.
Jim: That's it. Or Mr. Peanut.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: Mr. Peanut is not classy.
Michael: He is.
Dwight: He is a regular peanut. He just happens to have a cane, a monocle and a top hat.
Michael: That's what makes him classy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Last week, Dwight sent out a memo about the dress code. So, this is me showing him that I'm taking it very seriously.
 • Rating: Unrated

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