The Office Season 5 Quotes
Michael: I want my old job back. I want my old parking space back. I want a Sebring.
Charles: They don't make those anymore.
- Permalink: I want my old job back. I want my old parking space back. I want...
David: So you've thought it over, yes, and you accept our offer. We can finally put this whole thing behind us? Hmm?
Pam: Can you give us another minute please?
Charles: Oh, okay.
Ryan: How could you do this to me, Michael? You just cost me $60,000.
Pam: Why are you assuming you'd get the whole thing?
Michael: It's a lot of money, okay. But we need money coming in every week. We need jobs. Wouldn't you rather have a fishing pole than a fish?
Ryan: I would rather have $60,000, honestly.
- Permalink: So you've thought it over, yes, and you accept our offer. We can...
Charles: So how long can they stay viable?
Jim: What are your top five cases?
Dwight: I'm gonna answer Charles first.
Jim: Because you've solved zero cases.
Dwight: Okay, one. Case of the beet bandit. Missing beets from all over the farm. No footprints. Inside job. Mose in socks. Boom, case closed.
Charles: Okay, do not go anywhere near the conference room.
- Permalink: So how long can they stay viable? What are your top five cases...
Dwight: Well, Jerry, the one who got away. May I ask why you're leaving the Michael Scott Paper Company? Really? Please hold. [gets up and runs to kitchen] Charles.
Dwight: May I have your attention? The Michael Scott Paper Company is broke.
Charles: What? How'd you hear that?
Dwight: They've been calling all of their clients and begging them to pay more money. That can only mean one thing. They're desperate. Which can only mean one thing. They're total failures.
Jim: Great work Dwight.
Dwight: Quiet you.
Jim: No, I mean, great detective work. 'Cause this must be the first case you've ever cracked, right?
Dwight: You don't crack a case. That has pejorative connotation. That's like calling a policeman a cop. You solve a case, and yes, I've solved plenty.
- Permalink: Well, Jerry, the one who got away. May I ask why you're leaving ...
David: Okay, now I don't know that I can get this. I do have to go to the board for approval. How's about $60,000. Hmm? $60,0000. Michael?
Michael: [stutters] We'll have to talk-
Ryan: We'll have to talk about this.
Michael: Just amongst ourselves.
David: Okay, yes. Please take the room. Be right outside. Take your time.
Michael: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Michael: We are so rich.
Pam: Are you kidding me?
- Permalink: Okay, now I don't know that I can get this. I do have to go to t...
I'll see your situation and I'll raise you a situation. Your company is losing clients left and right. You have a stockholder meeting coming up and you're going to have to explain to them why your most profitable branch is bleeding. So they may be looking for a little change in the CFO. So I don't think I need to wait out Dunder Mifflin. I think I just have to wait out you.Michael
- Permalink: I'll see your situation and I'll raise you a situation. Your com...
Here's the situation. Your company is four weeks old. I know this business. I know what suppliers are charging. I know you can't be making very much money. I don't know how your prices are so low, but I know it can't keep up that way. I'm sure you're scared. Probably in debt. This is the best offer you're gonna get.David
- Permalink: Here's the situation. Your company is four weeks old. I know thi...
David: Michael, in order to expedite these negotiations, we are prepared to make you a very generous offer.
Michael: And we are prepared to reject that offer.
Ryan: Michael, you haven't even heard-
Michael: Never accept their first offer. What is your second offer?
Michael: Are you kidding me? That is insultingly low. I don't even want to hear what your first offer was.
- Permalink: Michael, in order to expedite these negotiations, we are prepare...
Michael: Oh, I'm really worried that I'm going to say it.
Pam: No, Michael.
Ryan: No, man. You're- you're fine.
Pam: We have to come from a position of strength.
Michael: I'm good, I'm good.
Ryan: Just put it out of your mind.
Michael: It is. I'm good.
- Permalink: Oh, I'm really worried that I'm going to say it. No, Michael. ...