The Office Season 5 Quotes
Michael: Listen up. It has come to my attention that some people in this office are not getting along with other people in this office. And I think I have come up with the reason why. This office space is too small.
Michael: Okay. There are ... 4 corners in this room. Each corner is to be a personal space for each one of you. Whichever corner you want. And make it your own.
Pam: We could work from home.
Ryan: Or you could fire one of us. Whoever has less education.
- Permalink: Listen up. It has come to my attention that some people in this ...
Dwight: Well, a little bit of blood rushed into mine as well, so where does that leave us?
Andy: The last thing I want to do, is step on your funk man.
Dwight: And I, yours. So I will cede her to you.
Andy: No, that's ridiculous.
Dwight: No no no.
Andy: Look you've been here longer, and besides, I'm a better wingman than I am a boyfriend so-
Dwight: Look I just want you and I to hang out so, you know ...
- Permalink: Well, a little bit of blood rushed into mine as well, so where d...
Dwight: Hey buddy, what are you up to?
Andy: Um, nerthing?
Dwight: Listen, when I saw you talking to Erin earlier, I noticed that your pupils dilated, and your skin flushed, and I'm assuming, a little bit of blood rushed into your penis.
- Permalink: Hey buddy, what are you up to? Um, nerthing? Listen, when I ...
They always say that it is a mistake to hire your friends and they are right! So, I hired my best friends. And this is what I get?Michael
- Permalink: They always say that it is a mistake to hire your friends and th...
Pam: Seriously? This is what's so important, putting naked pictures on the desktop?
Ryan: That's me and my friend Jonathan from Thailand.
Pam: I don't want to look at your friend Jasmine's boobs all day.
Ryan: You could be hot too if you made any effort. At all.
Pam: Like how? Dyeing my hair blond?
Ryan: This is from the sun.
Pam: Oh yeah I bet.
Michael: [on the phone] They're getting on my nerves Mom. Both of them. R thinks he's too good to be here, and P is not as much fun without Jim.
Pam: Michael, we can hear you.
Michael: I'm on the phone, please. Mom, I'm gonna have to call you back. P's being a giant B.
- Permalink: Seriously? This is what's so important, putting naked pictures o...
Michael: Listen. Listen listen listen listen listen listen. I need someone to make a copy of this. Because I don't make copies, I'm the boss. Got it? I make originals.
Ryan: Yeah I make originals too.
Pam: Shut up!
Michael: Stop it stop it! Bickering! Stop it!
- Permalink: Listen. Listen listen listen listen listen listen. I need someon...
Michael: Hey Ryan? Could you get to that copy from before?
Ryan: Pam's better at that stuff.
Pam: That is so insulting.
Ryan: How is it insulting to say that you're good at something?
Pam: Because the thing your saying I'm good at, is pushing a big green button a bunch of times.
Ryan: I'm not judging it, it's like ... I could run GM but I couldn't fix a car. It's not saying one is better than the other.
Pam: Seriously? Because it sounds like one of those is better than the other.
- Permalink: Hey Ryan? Could you get to that copy from before? Pam's better...
Jim: When did you need that rundown by?
Charles: As soon as possible.
Charles: Just get it right.
Jim: Yeah. Gotcha. Of course. I'm gonna dive in. To the rundown. I'll be exhausted 'cause it's like a triathlon.
- Permalink: When did you need that rundown by? As soon as possible. Okay...
What the hell's a rundown?Jim
- Permalink: What the hell's a rundown?
Charles: Hey Jim can I get a, um-
Charles: Hi. I need a rundown of your clients, can you get that to me.
- Permalink: Hey Jim can I get a, um- Hi! Hi. I need a rundown of your cl...
Ryan: You should come into town this weekend man. Yeah, we'll hang out Scranton style.
Michael: Hey you said you were gonna be out of town this weekend.
Ryan: Please don't listen to my phone calls. Yeah, she's like um, she'd probably be a Six in New York, but she's like a Seven here in Scranton. And then uh, my boss is my old boss from Dunder Mifflin. It's a small space.
- Permalink: You should come into town this weekend man. Yeah, we'll hang out...
Yes, I am taking Andy hunting after work. Not long ago we were sexual competitors. I used to hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him. I studied him, to figure out why I hated him so much. But that blossomed into a very real friendship, as these things often do.Dwight
- Permalink: Yes, I am taking Andy hunting after work. Not long ago we were s...
Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.Michael
- Permalink: Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it'...
When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.Andy
- Permalink: When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname...