Kevin: Michael, why is it that you asked everyone except me, Angela, Creed, and Meredith?
Michael: I was going to, I wanted to. But I had to start somewhere.
Kevin: But you didn't want to start with us?
Michael: No, of course not. But now I want everybody. Jim! Jim? Buddy, Hey! Buddy, Jimbo? Did you have time to think about my offer?
Jim: I did have a chance to think about it, but then I thought about something else.
Michael: So which way are you leaning?
Jim: Well it is tempting but I am 100% leaning towards something else.
Michael: Thanks Jim.

Michael is like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch. And when it's over you're like... how much time is left on this flight? Now what?

Toby

Andy: The whole office feels darker, you know? It's just a sad dark day.
Phyllis: Andy, he's gone.
Andy: I know.
Phyllis: You don't have to kiss his ass anymore.

And just like that. As mysteriously as he arrived, he was gone.

Oscar

I always thought Michael got a bad rap. He's a good guy. And he's super funny. Yeah, maybe I should tell him before he goes. He's all the way over there.

Kevin

Charles: Hey Hank, You ready?
Hank: Yeah.
Charles: Okay, Michael?
Michael: Hmm?
Charles: I can't pretend I haven't seen that. So I am going e to ask you to stand up, walk out. And you can't take anything.
Michael: Okay, I have immunity. It's my two-weeks...
Charles: Not if you're starting your own paper company, Michael. Hank...
Hank: Okay Michael.
Michael: Hank? You really think Hank is going to be loyal to you? Hank, please escort Charles from the building.
Hank: Come on man, let's go.

I did it. I learned everything about this machine. I know all the buttons, even the inside ones. I know all the error messages. I could do a bound book, in plastic with offset colors. Which feels...

Pam

You know what. I had a great time at prom. And no one said 'Yes' to that either.

Michael

Michael: [from inside the restroom] Stanley?
Stanley: Can't you see I'm urinating?
Michael: Listen, Listen, Stanley. You don't have to answer me now.
Stanley: No.
Michael: Just... I want you to think about it, I'm starting my own company.
Stanley: No.
Michael: Oh... okay, you're not letting me finish, and you just lost out on a million dollars.
Stanley: No I didn't.

Oscar: Most new businesses, they don't make a profit 'til at least two years. And then your margins will be razor thin. Best case scenario, you don't cut yourself a salary for at least 5 years. Can you go 5 years without a salary, Michael?
Michael: Okay.
Oscar: Five years?
Michael: Okay, hey, you already have the job. You don't have to convince me.
Oscar: It's just not prudent Michael.

Oscar: You put a note in my food?
Michael: I made it sterile.
Oscar: Just to say "sterile" doesn't make it so.
Michael: I am offering you the opportunity of a lifetime, Oscar. To come work for me.
Oscar: Do you have a business plan? A funding request? Market research, financials?
Michael: No, no no.
Oscar: You need those things.

I'm at a crucial point where I have sunk 4 hours into that copier, and I am not going to let it beat me like that wireless router did.

Pam
Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 662 in total

The Office Season 5 Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.

Andy
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