I usually don't enjoy the theater, but this is delightful.

Stanley

David Wallace: [playing volleyball] Nicely done. We're still going to crush you though!
Charles: Yes we are!
Rolph: You suckers are goin' down! They're gonna wipe their asses with your serves! Piss all over your faces!
Dwight: Okay, Rolph! Woah. Wait, wait-
Rolph: It's true!
Toby: This reminds me of the HR convention last fall.

Michael: We could do a movie... sort of thing.
Holly: [gasps] We could do Back to the Future.
Michael: Oh!
Holly: We have to convince Dunder and Mifflin to go back in time... fix their parents. [both laugh]
Michael: Could we get a Delorean?
Holly: Jaws. They swim in the ocean and they terrorize the whole community.
Michael: Oh! [to the theme of "Jaws"] Dun-der. Dun-der...
Holly: Dun-der. Dun-der...
Michael: Dun-der. Dun-der. Dun-der. Dun-der. Blooo!! [both laugh]
Holly: Oh... We haven't found our great idea yet.
Michael: No. No.
Holly: Oh.
Michael: We're circling it.
Holly: Hmm...

Kevin: [playing volleyball] I got it. [Kevin misses]
Dwight: Ohh! Oh, Kevin! Come on!
Andy: Are you blind?!
Dwight: I could've gotten that, idiot!
Andy: Can you see things with your eyeballs?!
Dwight: It's not a sledgehammer! Come on, people! We need to get our heads in the game! Let's focus! Come on, you're better than this! I am better than this! Phyllis, why are you sitting on the ground?!
Phyllis: We've been out here for a while. I don't need this.

Andy: [playing volleyball, yelling at Erin] Are you blind?! Are you blind?! [turns attention to a man on the other team] Sir, with the glasses, are you literally blind? ... I'm concerned you might be in danger.
Man: These are expensive Ray-Bans, jackass.
Andy: Okay, I was just looking out for you.

Michael: What is up with you two, Holly?
Holly: Um, not much.
AJ: We're designing a house.
Michael: Cool. For who?
AJ: For us.
Michael: Wow... I'm designing a chair. It's part of your pants. You sit down, you're supported.
Holly: I remember your chair pants idea. [laughs]
AJ: I like that. Put me down for a pair. I'm a size 34 waist.
Michael: All right, fatty. I will do it. You know what, we should actually rehearse.
Holly: Okay, yeah.
AJ: You guys are really gonna do this?
Michael: You bet your fat ass we are.

Dwight: Listen up everyone! I've gone over this lineup very carefully. We cannot forget the humiliation we suffered last year at the softball game with Jim's whole spider-in-the-mitt incident. Right?
Jim: Well, I could've died, so... I looked it up online afterwards.
Dwight: Erin, back row. Ryan, you move up a row!
Andy: Bro-migo, you think you could put Erin on my row?
Dwight: Why? I don't understand.
Andy: If-
Dwight: Woah, woah, woah. W-w-wait a minute. I get it. You want her to set you up so you can spike it.
Andy: Uh... [laughs sheepishly]
Dwight: I'll tell you what, I'm gonna do you one better. I'm gonna put you next to Phyllis. She is the best setter on the team.
Andy: That's...
Dwight: Sly dog.
Andy: ... not what I meant.
Dwight: Come on, folks!

Charles: Jim. Pam.
Jim: Hey, how are you?
Pam: Hey Charles.
Charles: Nice day, huh?
Jim: Yeah.
Charles: Must be nice to get a rest from all your rest. [walks away]
Jim: I don't get it. He's not even my boss anymore.
Pam: Do you want me to beat him up for you?
Jim: No, I shouldn't have to ask you to do stuff like that. You should just do it.

Michael: I lied to Kevin. Holly and I can never be just friends. I wrote down a list of bullet points why Holly and I should be together, and I'm going to find the perfect moment today and I am going to tell her. Number one: "Holly, you and I are soup snakes." The ... and the reason is... because... in terms of the soup, we like to- that doesn't make any sense. We're soul mates. Holly and I are soul mates.

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