The Office Season 5 Quotes
At Dunder-Mifflin there is a very strict no lunch with the boss policy and I don't know who instituted it. I think it started right after my predecessor stepped down, but at the Michael Scott Paper Company I really enjoyed having lunch with Pam and Ryan everyday. So, rules be damned, I wanna have lunch with these people.
Michael
Michael: Guys, I'm scared. I'm really scared. I think I'm growing into a giant. Because look at this normal sized coffee cup. Looks so tiny in my giant hand now. Anybody want to go to lunch with me later on?
Dwight: I do.
Michael: Okay. How about a woman? Pam?
Pam: Oh, I can't do lunch. I was just sending you an email. Jim and I need to leave early today to meet with our contractor.
Michael: Oh, really? Ok.
Pam: Just sent it.
Michael: What about the rest of you?
[caught by camera crew dancing to "At the Car Wash"] Oh, no. I still have the lease on the Michael Scott Paper Company, so occasionally I will sneak down here for a little coffee and dancing. I actually dance all the time. Tip-toeing around corporate - it is a ballet. When I am breaking all the rules, I am break dancing. And expresso.
Michael
Erin: Oh my God! I can't believe it! I jut won an art contest! [Erin screams, Pam and Jim look at each other, Dwight, laughing, gets up and hands her some money]
Erin: [whispering] Thanks. I still don't understand why you wanted me to say that.
Dwight: Shut up.
Michael: This is very difficult to say, but no one here like you in the office and we are going to have to let you go. [picks up phone] Hank, could you come up here please? Hank is our security guard--
Erin: Oh, I can go.
Michael: He will be ushering you out. [starts laughing]
Erin: Oh!
Michael: Oh, your face! Oh!
Erin: Is - do the people -
Michael: No, I'm kidding. No, you're not - you're not fired. Yet.
Erin: Oh!
Michael: Oh...
Erin: Do they not like me, though?
Michael: I don't know, actually.
Erin: Okay.
Pam: What about Ryan?
Michael: I don't know, I offered him his temp job back. We'll see. He was not happy at all when I offered him this job, and then I told him he didn't get the job, so-
Pam: Yeah. Maybe you shouldn't fake fire people anymore.
Michael: I don't appreciate you telling me what to do. So clean out your desk, you are through here.
Pam: Thanks, Michael.
Andy: You don't understand clothing, Toby. You're dressed like this amorphous blob of khaki.
Toby: All right, look, what you gotta understand is that when you come to work, you give up certain rights.
Dwight: Listen up, Flenderson. You're being weak and ineffectual. I'm cowboying this meeting, okay? Here are the new rules. Earth tones only. Also, women are forbidden to wear pants.
Toby: All right, come. Sit down, Dwight.
Dwight: No.
Toby: I'm running this meeting.
Dwight: That's debatable.
Toby: It's not. It's not. Sit down or I am writing you up.
Meredith: Ooh, where has this guy been?
Toby: Casual Fridays are cancelled. [everyone protests] Let's just not do it anymore.
Andy: You're running from the problem.
Toby: There's not a single appropriate outfit in this whole--except mine, quite honestly.
I have a very difficult decision to make. It's like last week I was at the video store. Do I rent Devil Wears Prada again? Or do I finally get around to seeing Sophie's Choice? It is what you would call a classic difficult decision.
Michael
Michael: I need your help. This whole Pam/Ryan debate is screwing with my head.
Jim: I don't want to be biased, but I am very close to Ryan. You know that.
Michael: You're close with Pam too.
Jim: Eh, she's nice, I guess.
Ryan: Michael gave all of our clients back to their old salespeople, so now there's not enough for both me and Pam to stay on.
Pam: He can only keep one of us as a salesperson now. He'll make his decision by the end of the day.
Ryan: I think you should get it. You really grew into it.
Pam: Oh. I think you should get it. You've changed a lot and you'd be good at it.
Ryan: If you really think that, will you tell that to Michael? That would go a long way coming from you.
Pam: Yeah.
Ryan: Thanks.
Michael: So from the bottom of my heart to the top of my heart, I am sorry.
Stanley: Are you giving us our clients back?
Michael: If we could just focus and go down the line, and everyone would say, "apology accepted," I think we would all feel better. And then we can break out my gift to you - complimentary white chocolate bark.
Stanley: Nobody likes that stuff except for you.
Michael: They wouldn't make it unless people liked it.
Erin: I really love your outfit.
Kelly: Thank you so much for saying that. I can't believe that Toby thinks this is inappropriate.
Erin: You look like J-Lo.
