Gotta go wash my eyes. That kid's gonna have a lot of hair.


She's also fully effaced, which... I don't know what that is.


I love escorting people... I put an ad out for an escort service and got A LOT of responses. Mostly creeps. Made a few friends.


Michael: Should I bring a dictionary?
Oscar: The hospital will provide dictionaries. Bring a thesaurus.

Michael: Is it midnight yet?
Phyllis: It's 4:35.

Pam: Don't be mad.
Jim: Mad? How could I be mad? We're having a little girl.

Kevin: Maybe we should cut holes in her shirt.
Meredith: I have a shirt like that in my car.

No one touch Pam's nipples! Think of Pam's nipples as Toby's grundle.


Phyllis: I can put on lipstick the way Molly Ringwald does in The Breakfast Club.
Michael: I don't think anyone wants to see that.

Pam, you are a woman warrior.


I'm sort of a master of distraction. When I was a kid, my mom received complaints left and right from my teachers that I would distract everyone around me.


Speaking as a former baby, don't get too hung up on baby names.


The Office Season 6 Quotes

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!


Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy. But-