We're calling an audible. That's her call because she's the quarterback. I'm just the left tackle... who happened to get her pregnant.


Bear my child. I wanna have a child for business reasons and I want you to be the mother. If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything.

Dwight [to Angela]

Jim: [The baby] wasn't conceived here. Burning Man. Port-o-potty!
Michael: Yuck! TMI! How was it? Tell me later.

Contramptions! She's contrampting!


Jim: I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.
Pam: I cannot wait for that joke to be over.

I cooked my way through Julia Child's cookbook. And now I'm halfway through the Twilight cookbook.


I'm been noticing a gaping hole in my life. Sometimes, I wake up cradling a gourd.


You cannot exploit your baby for sales.


It's not 'cause of the smell; I'm just expecting a nosebleed.


Michael: Where'd you get that information?
Oscar: Manual.
Michael: Manuel who?

Ryan: Did you see Saw?
Dwight: Of course I seesaw, Mose and I seesaw all the time.

If I got that card, we'd be in the bathroom doing it right now.


The Office Season 6 Quotes

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!


Kevin: Michael, did you just throw up in here?
Michael: Nah. Just poopin'. You know how I be.
Kevin: It smells like throw-up in here.
Michael: Crazy world. Lot of smells.