The Office

The Office Season 6 Quotes (Page 15)

Season 6 Episode 9: "Double Date"

Pam: I used to love coming here. The chicken parm is good, big part of my childhood. Oh! Maybe Michael will start dating that too.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Pam: You're bribing me.
Michael: No! No, no... Unless you want me to! Do you want me to? Because I will. I will bribe you. No... Your face is saying, don't? Unless I haven't offered you enough? Your face isn't changing. What is it! Talk to me face, tell me what Pam's brain is thinking.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Pam: The cake's really good.
Helene: Oh I know! I love when they use butter cream frosting.
Michael: Finish your cake, Helene. I want you to enjoy that cake. Because I have something terrible I need to tell you. And I want you to enjoy your cake before I tell you this terrible, terrible thing.
 • Rating: 3.3 / 5.0

Ryan: Hey, quick question. Are you scared?
Michael: Never. About what? A little. What are you talking about?
Ryan: We heard about the punch.
Michael: What punch?
Kelly: Pam. She's gonna punch the crap out of your face after work.
Michael: I'm pretty sure we said slap.
Kelly: No. It's a punch. And Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now.
Ryan: I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen. Do you?
Michael: I... umm... I'm good.
Ryan: Alright. See you there.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Michael: The only time you should care about a woman's age is if she is too young for you. And I am not robbing the cradle. If anything, I am robbing the grave.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Michael: As I watched Pam's big strong hand coming toward my face I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what? I have four kids. And I have a hover car and a hover house. And my wife is a runner and it shows. And Pam and Jim are my best friends and our kids play together. And... I'm happy and I'm rich and I never die. That doesn't sound like much, but it's enough for me.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Season 6 Episode 8: "Koi Pond"

Michael: It's actually not the first time I've been embarrassed by a pond. In high school, the girls volleyball team always used to throw me into the frozen lake. Four years in a row! Ohhhhhhhh it was freezing! No, no, no! Oh! This is even worse. Couple weeks ago I went to get a new cellphone and I wanted one of those packages, where you have the five, you know, friends, friends and family thing. And the guy was like, "who are your five friends" and I'm like, "uhhh." I didn't even know! I couldn't even think! Oh my God it was so embarrassing! That was - I don't even have Jan's cellphone number! And I hate her! She won't give it to me! I was like "oh I guess I'm a loser." A looooo-ooo-ooooser. Too far! God. Thanks a lot man! Thanks for the advice.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Michael: And then, I think I am going to go to the garlic festival.
Jim: Wow.
Michael: Sounds like fun. You guys would love it. They have a TCBY booth! Same stuff you get downtown. Do you like TCBY?
Jim: Who doesn't?
Michael: "I can't believe it's... I can't believe it's yogurt."
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Creed: I vant to sell you blood!
Ryan: That's really not the trend in vampires right now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manager: And I must say that since we are a family business it's nice to see that you are too.
Andy: Ohhhh! No. Wow. You thought that? Oh my gosh. Oh definitely not.
Manager: My mistake, I'm sorry.
Pam: It's okay.
Andy: Actually it's kind of not okay. I date models. Face models. My girlfriend, on a scale of one to Giselle, uh, a nine.
Manager: That's... that's good for you.
Pam: Anyway, we also have a special on-
Andy: Pam's carrying our surrogate. Because, my girlfriend needed to keep her figure for fashion week. So we, uh, we put our baby in Pam. Doesn't matter what Pam looks like.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Who here has been the but of a joke that has gone too far? Phyllis.
Phyllis: Michael you make fun of us everyday.
Kevin: Yeah. Every single day.
Michael: Uh, you never said anything.
Meredith: Uh, we have. Countless times.
Michael: Well it is hard to tell the difference between you guys saying "Stop! Because I want you to stop" and "Stop!" as in "Stop you're making making me laugh so hard. What you're doing is so funny. You are on a roll I am a busting a gut. Stoppp!"
Angela: That's never been the case.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Darryl: You're not as scary as Bookface over there.
Jim: Yes. I am the popular social networking site known as Bookface.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Erin, do we have any of those clips that hold paper together?
Erin: Staples?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I'm not usually the butt of the joke. I'm usually the face of the joke. I wish Jim had fallen into that pond. Then he'd have to put on my suit. And it'd be too short. And he'd look... dammit he'd still look good.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Dwight: Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy. But-
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Michael: Welcome children of the Scranton industrial park community! Join your gangster pumpkin on his pallet truck of doom!
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Jim's a good kid, he can handle a lot. But sometimes you have to call in a master. I, uh ... Why would you date an amateur when you could date a professional.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Kids, just remember, suicide is never the answer. Alright? It is the easy way out. You are not alone. [gives the thumbs up]
Darryl: What the hell is wrong with you?
Michael: Who wants candy?
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: Jim, did Michael fall into a koi pond?
Jim: Mmmmm... it's like Michael said, it was, um... something else.
Michael: It was ... okay, this is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots who put a fish tank in the ground with no cover, and no railing.
Angela: So you fell in.
Michael: No, maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in.
Angela: So a child had fallen in?
Michael: Not yet.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Any messages?
Erin: You're soaking wet.
Michael: Jim and I got caught in a little flash... rain. Flash winds, flash lightning.
Phyllis: Wow. Sounds scary.
Michael: It was. It was. And then in an instant, it wasn't!
Angela: Why isn't Jim wet?
Jim: I... outran it.
Meredith: I don't think it rained. My hip would be throbbing.
Michael: It rained.
Dwight: Michael, can I get you something? A towel, some cocoa?
Michael Scott: Nothing. Cocoa.
 • Rating: Unrated

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