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I have been wanting to be Santa for years. I believe I have the right temperament, and the figure to do the job well. I slipped a note to Jim 11 weeks ago, and he said I could do it. It's been a long journey... but [sniffs] I'm Santa Claus!

Phyllis

I begged Dwight and Jim to give me Erin for Secret Santa. And I decided to give Erin the 12 days of Christmas. Is it my fault that the first eight days is basically 30 birds?

Andy

Hello. Sorry guys. I'm not sure I've earned the right to make announcements yet, but whoever is giving me the 12 Days of Christmas as my Secret Santa? Please stop. I can't take it anymore. My cat killed a turtle dove; the French hens have started pulling out my hair to make a nest. Please stop.

Erin

Phyllis: You didn't decorate it?
Jim: No.
Dwight: Exactly.
Jim: We didn't, because we think it'd be better to do it together.
Dwight: Everyone.
Andy: Why would you wrap it in a sheet, if you're not covering anything up?
Pam: Is it ... is it fake?
Jim: Pam!
Dwight: Yes, we are unveiling, an artificial tree, that will never die...
Jim: Yes.
Dwight: Like the spirit of Christmas!
Stanley: We're supposed to applaud you for taking a giant diaper off fake tree?
Dwight: This was a successful unveiling! Go back to work! Merry Christmas!

Dwight: It is time to unveil the tree.
Oscar: Hey, Rockefeller Center!
Jim: Yeah.
Ryan: Uh, I have actually been to Rock Center, and this is nothing like that.
Jim: This is all we have.
Ryan: Ugh.

My diabolical plan has been put on hold for Christmas. My heart just melts when I hear the sound of children singing. [pauses] Ha! Not really. I'm just tired. Days are short ... I don't know. Maybe I'm depressed.

Dwight

Yes, they're the only two gay guys I know. But they should be together.

Pam

Jim: Hey. What's up?
Michael: What if I told you I had done the worst thing ever. Would you still wanna be my friend?
Jim: Did you murder someone?
Erin: Oh my God.
Michael: Lurk much? [she leaves] I miss Pam.

I'm not a bad news person, I bring good news! Like when I promised those kids I'd pay for college!

Michael

Dwight: Heyy! Jimmy, what's up?
Jim: Not much.
Dwight: Cool! Very cool. I bet if you tried, you could grow the best beard of anyone in this office!
Jim: Thanks Dwight.
Dwight: That laugh is so infectious!
Michael: Creepin' me out. I'm gonna go.
Dwight: I didn't mean any of those things I just said.

Hey Mr. Scott, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do to make our dreams come true! Hey Mr. Scott, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do, make our dreams come true!

Group

Five minutes ahead of schedule... Right on schedule.

Dwight
Displaying quotes 205 - 216 of 419 in total

The Office Season 6 Quotes

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

Dwight

Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy. But-

Dwight