I resent the implication that I would keep that secret. I can't and I won't.

Andy

In the foster home, my hair was my room.

Erin

Pam: That's weird, my breast pump's missing. [to Jim] Have you seen my breast pump?
Dwight: Okay, this is going to traumatize me a hell of a lot more than you believe me.
Pam: You know what Dwight? Let me just check the bathroom first, okay?
Dwight: Really? Fine. Let your breasts explode. Three squeezes, and I would drain you.
Pam: Mmmm.

They're making fun of Cookie Monster, I get that; but in a weird way, it's like they're making fun of me.

Kevin

Erin: I think I have to be on my own a little bit, like Precious, that girl from Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire.
Andy: I didn't see that movie.

Pam: Meredith!
Meredith: I just like the way it feels!
Pam: What are you doing!
Meredith: Relax.
Pam: Relax!?
Meredith: This is like the Cadillac of pumps.
Pam: Give it back to me now!
Meredith: I was just ... I was warming it up.
Pam: That's disgusting!

Oscar: You know what we haven't done in a while? Happy hour... Upstairs, the warehouse, everybody just going out for a drink.
Darryl: Has that ever happened?... ever?
Oscar: Didn't we? I think we did.
Darryl: You want me to invite Matt?
Oscar: Yeah, the, uh the whole gang. Matt included.
Darryl: Look just be straight with me man. You can be gay with Matt just, be straight with me.

Yeah! I love going to the bars with Bob. I wear a tend to wear something low cut, get men to flirt with me... And Bob beats them up ... What?

Phyllis

I gotta tell you this baby is amazing... She ... gets me out of everything... And I... and I love her. I also love her very much.

Jim

Andy: Erin! I need you to fax this and get me a confirmation prompto. Are you going later?
Erin: Sure, if you are.
Andy: Yes!
Erin: Talk to me like that again and I'll cut your face off.
Andy: Whoa!

Andy: Hey Boss Man, bunch of us are going to get some drinks, you in?
Michael: [pauses] Ladies and gentlemen it is quitting time!
Andy: I'm sorry I meant later.
Michael: Okay. Yes.
Andy: For happy hour?
Michael: Sure, no, I got that.

So, the guy shows me the deck he's built. And I'm like, I'll call this a deck if it'll make you happy, but this is just a porch without a roof.

Darryl

The Office Season 6 Quotes

Ho ho ho! Why pay more to sit next to old Tranny Claus over there, when you can sit on my lap. Phyllis is only ... pretending to be a man, I'm the real thing. Sit down on my lap and there will be no doubt! [awkward silence] No it's not, not like penis-wise.

Michael

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

Dwight