I did not love the dialogue. Or the character. I took the role to impress the receptionist who will remain nameless.

Jim

(as Goldenface) Oh someone's coming alright.. the only man who would care - Michael Scarn. See I'm gonna lure him here and I'm gonna kill everybody then I'm gonna dig up Scarn's dead wife and I'm gonna hump her real good. Hahahaha!

Jim

I gave up a lot of weekends because I thought it would be good for my daughter to see a black man as president, even in a silly home movie. What a stupid waste of time.

Darryl

Holly: I'm sorry, it is good.
Michael: No, it's not. It's not, but they really seem to be enjoying it.

I am a huge Woody Allen fan, although I've only seen Antz.

Michael

Michael: I have my book on business, Somehow I Manage. I have my HBO comedy special, Here I Go Again...But you know what? When I think about it, when I really think about it, none of those things are as real to me as my movie.
Holly: I'm real.
Michael: Yeahhh, you're a real pain in the ass.

Holly this isn't Ocean's Eleven where you get together with your friends and you just have fun and you don't care about how it turns out.

Michael

Ryan: You should enter it in festivals.
Kevin: Or carnivals.

You jump to the right and you shake a hand, then you jump to the left and you shake their hand. You meet new friends and you tie some yarn. And that's how you do the Scarn.

Michael (as Scarn)
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