Michael: Am I doing the wrong thing?
Jim: Absolutely not. It's just that sometimes, goodbyes are a bitch.

A little cover up on your adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

Michael (to Gabe)

You don't need a mom, because you have my number and you can call me anytime.

Michael (to Erin)

Give me that damn dog you f*ckin' thief!


Andy do you know how to high five? Cause if you do, now's the time...not while I'm driving.


I can't do this. All the channels are going to be different there. I'm not going to be able to find my shows. I am not going to start improv at level one. I don't think my credits are going to transfer.


Oscar: What town do Holly's parents live in?
Michael: I'm not sure...Mount tuh (mumbles).
Kevin: Sounds beautiful.

Michael: Was it just me, or did you think we were going to have sex at some point?
Angela: It was just you.

You should never settle for who you are.


I'm not saying I'm Superman, but let me just put it this way...if I were to be shot in the head, I'm pretty sure I'd be fine. I almost welcome it.


You won't drool over pizza like an animal anymore.


Andy: You know I'm the worst salesman here right?
Michael: But you're the best salesman on the inside.
Phyllis: What does that even mean?
Michael: You sold us all on Andy, a product that nobody wanted.

The Office Season 7 Quotes

Halloween should be a day where we honor monsters and not be mad at each other.


Two eyes, two ears, a chine, a mouth, 10 fingers, two nipples, a butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Lochness Monster, and the reward for its capture...all the riches in Scotland. So I have one question, why are you her