The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Quotes
Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.
Marge
You want to be sad, honey, be sad. We'll ride it out with you. And when you get finished feeling sad, we'll still be there.
Marge
If mommy's purse didn't belong in the microwave, why did it fit?
Ralph
Principal Skinner: You're not supposed to be able to get outside our network.
Nelson: You shouldn't have made your password, "password".
Principal Skinner: It was the name of the street I grew up on, Password Drive.
Willie: What's that?
Principal Skinner: We didn't want to leave you out of the digital revolution. Willie, meet your new supervisor.
Willie: I have to take orders from a machine?
Principal Skinner: Oh it can't speak, but should it ever learn, yes.
He's a hero all right, a hero sandwich full of bologna!
Ned
A TV star criticizing his writers, what has this world come to? Another bully for your collection boys.
Chief Wiggum
Homer: No no honey, I love everything you force me to do. And sometimes if you do all that, you get a very special night.
Bart: And what does that get you?
Homer: Hopefully not a you.
Bart, some of your biggest heroes are dancers. Krusty was on Dancing with the Stars until a panel of experts determined he wasn't a star.
Lisa
Milhouse: If it's the blue hair and the schnoz you're digging, I've got plenty more cousins.
Bart: Thanks Milhouse, I think I'm gonna steer clear of Van Houtens for awhile.
Milhouse: More for me, marrying a cousin worked out great for my parents.
Dad I apologize. I only say this at gunpoint, but it's true. I love you.
Homer
Abe: That's Mock Rickly, my old Air Force buddy.
Bart: You said you were in the Army.
Lisa: You said you were in the Navy.
Abe: That's the kind of mix up that used to happen when I was in the Marines.
