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The-simpsons

They don't call me "Springfield Fats" just because I'm morbidly obese!

Homer

I moved here because on a calculator, the ZIP Code spells "boobs."

Moe

Behold! I am Captain Kirk from Star Trek 1! 2 ... 5 ... Generations ... Boston Legal.

Comic Book Guy

My lifestyle is my retirement plan.

Homer

Oh, fudge. That's...broken. Fiddle dee dee. That will require a tetanus shot. I'm not going to swear, but I am going to...kick this dog house down!
Homer goes into a rage.)

</i> Homer

Moe: Pretty much if it moves, you can bet on it.
Homer: What about the Detroit Lions?
Moe: Hey, lay off Detroit. Them people is livin' in Mad Max times.

What kind of civilized people eat the body and blood of their savior?
[camera pans to Reverend Lovejoy...]

Marge

Lisa: Congratulations. You're officially a sociopath.
Bart: At least I'm on a path.

I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.

</i> Nelson

That school is so great. Teachers teach so much better when they're paid in money and not chickens.

Lisa

I didn't get anybody pregnant. I didn't Facebook a kid to death. Make with my dirt bike!

Bart

Ha, Ha! I touched your heart!

</i> Nelson
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 3391 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

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