The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Oh, fudge. That's...broken. Fiddle dee dee. That will require a tetanus shot. I'm not going to swear, but I am going to...kick this dog house down!
Homer goes into a rage.)

</i> Homer

What kind of civilized people eat the body and blood of their savior?
[camera pans to Reverend Lovejoy...]

Marge

Behold! I am Captain Kirk from Star Trek 1! 2 ... 5 ... Generations ... Boston Legal.

Comic Book Guy

Lisa: Congratulations. You're officially a sociopath.
Bart: At least I'm on a path.

Moe: Pretty much if it moves, you can bet on it.
Homer: What about the Detroit Lions?
Moe: Hey, lay off Detroit. Them people is livin' in Mad Max times.

My lifestyle is my retirement plan.

Homer

They don't call me "Springfield Fats" just because I'm morbidly obese!

Homer

If I wanted to pay for commercials I can't skip, I'd sign up for Hulu Plus.

Homer

I moved here because on a calculator, the ZIP Code spells "boobs."

Moe

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer

I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.

</i> Nelson

Ahh, a sand horse, car of the desert.

Homer [referring to a camel]
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 3443 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart