The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite The Simpsons Quotes
(After several appliances transform into robots in the kitchen)
Homer: Hmmm. Is there something different about the kitchen?
Robots: (speaking together and waving their hands) No, no, no, no, no.
(The toaster transforms into the word "NO")
Homer: Well, the toaster's never lied to me before.
(after getting shot) I always thought I'd die of hepatitis!
Chief Wiggum
This doesn't happen in America! Maybe in Ohio--but not America!
Homer
Sylvia: My horoscope told me I would meet the man of my dreams today.
Homer: Well, a horoscope wouldn't lie to a pretty girl like you.
Homer: How many times must I say I'm sorry?
Marge: You haven't said you're sorry.
Homer: I know. I was hoping the number would be zero.
Patty: I can't believe Homer ruined another family barbecue.
Homer: (offended) Hey! Everybody pees in the pool!
Patty: Not from the diving board!
(Marge and Homer are kissing in the back of the peddle car)
Bart: Knock it off back there!
Homer: But we're married!
Bart: Ok, but keep it PG.
Homer: How about R?
Bart: PG-13.
Homer: Woohoo! Adult situations!
(Marge and Homer continue kissing)
(to Marge) I see the word "vacancy" is lit, and the word "no" is not. Let us pray the "no" is not broken, huh?
Alberto
I'm cuckoo for killing stuff!
Bart
Marge: I can't believe one of the most beautiful moments in our marriage is based on lies!
Homer: You're just as bad as me, and you used to be better, so that makes you worse!
A log cabin? What am I, Davy Crockett? Also, who's Davy Crockett?
Bart
Marge: Let's pick up those hitch-hikers. They don't look like the stabby kind.
Lisa: Mom, you said all hitch-hikers were drug-crazed thrill seekers.
Marge: I said they were thrill-crazed drug seekers. Don't put words in my mouth.
