Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Homer: Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things... like love!
Marge: Or double-ply windows. They look just like regular windows (slowing down) but they'll save us 4% on our heating bill...

You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. Sure, it's not 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Homer

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.

Homer

Lisa: You're all forgetting the most important thing! Which is that it's wrong to imprison an animal!
Homer: Lisa, go to your room.

(Sinking in a tar pit) Nah, that's ok. I'm pretty sure I can struggle my way out. First I'll just reach in and pull my legs out, then I'll pull my arms out with my teeth.

Homer

Lisa: Mr. Blackheart, are you an ivory dealer?
Mr. Blackheart: Well, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the fox network. And, like most people, yeah I've dealt a little ivory.

Bart: (to Lisa) Uh, it's hard for us to leave when you're standing there.
Homer: Push her down, son.

Bart: KBBL is going to give me something stupid!
KBBL DJ: Well, hot dog! We have a wiener!

Heh, heh. Shazzam.

Homer
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