The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Bart Gets an Elephant" Quotes (Page 2)

Bart: (to Lisa) Uh, it's hard for us to leave when you're standing there.
Homer: Push her down, son.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Lisa: Mr. Blackheart, are you an ivory dealer?
Mr. Blackheart: Well, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the fox network. And, like most people, yeah I've dealt a little ivory.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Homer: (Sinking in a tar pit) Nah, that's ok. I'm pretty sure I can struggle my way out. First I'll just reach in and pull my legs out, then I'll pull my arms out with my teeth.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: You're all forgetting the most important thing! Which is that it's wrong to imprison an animal!
Homer: Lisa, go to your room.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Homer: You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. Sure, it's not 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Homer: Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things... like love!
Marge: Or double-ply windows. They look just like regular windows (slowing down) but they'll save us 4% on our heating bill...
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Marge: I really think this is a bad idea.
Homer: Marge, I agree with you, in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Homer: Maybe if we tied it down so it couldn't move it wouldn't get so hungry.
Lisa: You can't do that, Dad, it's cruel!
Homer: Oh, everything's cruel according to you. Keeping him chained up in the backyard is cruel. Pulling on his tail is cruel. Yelling in his ears is cruel. Everything is cruel. So, excuse me if I'm cruel!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Homer: Mmm... elephant fresh.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite quote from "Bart Gets an Elephant?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!