The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Bart the Genius" Quotes

Homer: Doc, this is all too much. I mean, my son a genius? How does it happen?
Dr. Pryor: Well, genius-level intelligence is usually the result of heredity and environment.
(Homer looks confused.)
Dr. Pryor: Although, in some cases, it's a total mystery.
 • Rating: Unrated

Principal Skinner: Whoever did this is in very deep trouble.
Martin: And a sloppy speller too. The preferred spelling of "wiener" is 'W-I-E-N-E-R', although 'E-I' is an acceptable ethnic variant.
 • Rating: Unrated

Martin: Bart, I hope you won't bear some sort of simpleminded grudge against me. I was merely trying to fend off the desecration of the school building.
Bart: Eat my shorts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mrs. Krabappel: Now, I don't want you to worry class. These tests will have no affect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success. If any.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Bart, I feel so bad for going so many years without, mmm, hmm--What's that word where you encourage something to grow?
Bart and Homer: (Both mumble "I don't know," in unison.)
Lisa: Nurturing.
Marge: Nurturing your brilliant brain, so I got tickets to the opera tonight. Hurry up. Get dressed. It starts at 8:00.
Bart: Oh, Mom. Not tonight!
Homer: Come on, Bart, your mother's only trying to help, so go ahead and enjoy the show.
Marge: Homer, you're going too.
Homer: But I'm not a genius. Why should I suffer?
 • Rating: Unrated

(At the breakfast table.)
Marge: Bart, this is a big day for you. Why don't you eat something a little more nutritious?
Homer: Nonsense, Marge. Frosted Krusty Flakes are what got him where he is today.
(Homer reads the cereal box.)
Homer: It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Lisa, maybe you should try some of this.
Marge: Homer!
Homer: I'm just saying why not have two geniuses in the family? Sort of a spare in case Bart's brain blows up.
(Homer and Marge walk out of the kitchen.)
Lisa: I don't care what that stupid test says, Bart. You're a dimwit.
Bart: Maybe so, but from now on this dimwit is on easy street.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Homer encourages Bart, after he comes home from "gifted" school covered in green.)
Homer: Don't be discouraged, son. I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Pryor: The child is not supposed to know his own IQ, of course, but, uh, you can see it's beyond the range of any doubt.
(Dr. Pryor hands Homer a slip of paper with Bart's IQ on it.)
Homer: Nine hundred and twelve!
Dr. Pryor: Uh, no. You have it upside-down. It's two hundred and sixteen.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Homer drops Bart off at his new school.)
Homer: Now go on, boy, and pay attention. Because if you do, one day you may achieve something that we Simpsons have dreamed about for generations. You may outsmart someone.
 • Rating: Unrated

(In science lab, Bart is about to mix two substances.)
Ms. Melon: (to Bart) Say, what's that? It looks dangerous.
Bart: Well, it's really pretty top secret, ma'am.
Ms. Melon: All right, keep going. But you do know what happens when you mix acids and bases, right?
Bart: 'Course I do.
(Bart pours one substance into another, it explodes and covers the whole room in the yellow mixture.)
Bart: Sorry.
 • Rating: Unrated

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