The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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Bart: Hey, Mom. Did you save Dad's love letters?
Marge: Of course I saved them. Well actually, there's only one. It's more of a love postcard from some brewery he visited.
Homer: Maybe it's the beer talking, Marge. But you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big chewy pretzels here (undecipherable slurring) five dollars?! Get outta here!
Bart: Wow, the side of Dad I've never seen.

Don't worry; I just drew up a little blueprint. Now, let me walk you through it. This is the door, he goes through that. This is the roof, this happy character is the sun, he shines down on the house, see?

Homer

Jasper: What's eatin' you, woman? Your personal ad said you wanted a man. Well, you got yourself a humdinger!
Edna: I don't know. I guess I expected something different from your photo.
Jasper: Don't let my age fool you. Just 'cause it's a little slow on the roof. I've forgotten how the rest of that goes.

Edna: After two months at sea, the pilgrims were running out of food and water. Yes, Nelson?
Nelson: Did they have any yo-yo's?
Edna: No, they did not have yo-yo's. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by the friendly Indians.
Milhouse: Did the Indians have yo-yo's!?
Edna: No they did not have yo-yo's! That's it! I am sick and tired of talking about yo-yo's. From now on I won't accept any book report, science project, dioramas, or anything else on yo-yo's, or yo-yo related topics. Am I making myself clear?
Bart: Yo!

(trying to get attention of school) People.... people. You know I can wait just as long as you. (fails) KNOCK IT OFF!

Skinner

Ow! My Eyeball!

Todd

Bingo bango, sugar in the gas tank. The ex-husband strikes again.

Mechanic

Edna: One scratch-n-win, Apu.
Apu: Mrs. Krabappel, I haven't seen you since we doubled our prices. Still teaching?
Edna: Let's see. scratches lottery ticket One more day, at least.

Gross, he's picking his nose!

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow

"Woodrow"

(Homer tries helping the family write a letter to Mrs. Krabappel from Woodrow, informing her that he is leaving town.)
Homer: Three simple words: I, Am, Gay.
Marge: Homer, for the last time, I'm not putting that in!

Displaying quotes 13 - 23 of 23 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Episode 16 Quotes

Jimmy: Hey, what gives?
Jimmy's Dad: You said you wanted to live in a world without zinc Jimmy. Well now your car has no battery.
Jimmy: But I promised Betty I'd pick her up by 6:00. I better give her a call.
Jimmy's Dad: Sorry Jimmy. Without zinc for the rotary mechanism, there are no telephones.
Jimmy: Dear God! What have I done?
(Jimmy pulls out a gun and points it to his head and fires)
Jimmy's Dad: Think again Jimmy. You see the firing pin in your gun was made out ofyepzinc.
Jimmy: Come back zinc, Come Back!!

Maude: Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables?
Todd: Hell no.
(Everyone gasps)
Maude: What did you say?
Todd: I said I don't want any damn vegetables.
Ned: Alright, that is it young man. No bible stories for you tonight.
(Todd runs to his room crying)
Maude: Weren't you a little hard on him?
Ned: Well, you knew I had a temper when you married me.

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