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The-simpsons

Oh, fudge. That's...broken. Fiddle dee dee. That will require a tetanus shot. I'm not going to swear, but I am going to...kick this dog house down!
Homer goes into a rage.)

</i> Homer

Homer: Hey Marge, you want to hear something funny? Flanders thinks I swear too much. Hee, hee, hee! Marge, you're not laughing.
Marge: Well, you know, maybe he's right.
Homer: What a surprise. Marge sticks up for Flanders. Can we have one conversation where you don't bring up your hero Ned Flanders?
Marge: Actually Homer, you brought up Ned Flanders.

Ned: I just wish you wouldn't curse in front of my boys!
Homer: Oh, come on, now, Flanders! I don't complain about yourmoustache!
Ned: What's wrong with my moustache?
Homer: It makes you look like you've got something to hide.
Ned: What?
Homer: People are talking. Lots of people.
Ned: Okay, mister. You've got yourself a deal. I'll shave off the soup strainer if you give the sailor talk the ol' heave-ho. Okay?
Homer: Aye aye! Admiral Butthead.

Bart: Hey, Mom. Did you save Dad's love letters?
Marge: Of course I saved them. Well actually, there's only one. It's more of a love postcard from some brewery he visited.
Homer: Maybe it's the beer talking, Marge. But you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big chewy pretzels here (undecipherable slurring) five dollars?! Get outta here!
Bart: Wow, the side of Dad I've never seen.

Don't worry; I just drew up a little blueprint. Now, let me walk you through it. This is the door, he goes through that. This is the roof, this happy character is the sun, he shines down on the house, see?

Homer

Jasper: What's eatin' you, woman? Your personal ad said you wanted a man. Well, you got yourself a humdinger!
Edna: I don't know. I guess I expected something different from your photo.
Jasper: Don't let my age fool you. Just 'cause it's a little slow on the roof. I've forgotten how the rest of that goes.

Edna: After two months at sea, the pilgrims were running out of food and water. Yes, Nelson?
Nelson: Did they have any yo-yo's?
Edna: No, they did not have yo-yo's. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by the friendly Indians.
Milhouse: Did the Indians have yo-yo's!?
Edna: No they did not have yo-yo's! That's it! I am sick and tired of talking about yo-yo's. From now on I won't accept any book report, science project, dioramas, or anything else on yo-yo's, or yo-yo related topics. Am I making myself clear?
Bart: Yo!

(trying to get attention of school) People.... people. You know I can wait just as long as you. (fails) KNOCK IT OFF!

Skinner

Ow! My Eyeball!

Todd
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