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The-simpsons

Homer: I can't wait for my first fire. Is that one?
Lisa: That's just someone barbecuing.
Homer: Is that one?
Bart: That's a guy with red hair.

It is with great pride that I place the safety of our city in the hands of the first four people who showed up.

Mayor Quimby

Moe: You know, I think I'll volunteer, too.
Barney: Why'd you say "too"?
Moe: Well, I assume I'm not the first one.

Oh, I have 3 kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and 3 money!?

Homer

Firefighter: You've horribly injured the whole fire department!
Homer: Who are you, a travel agent? 'Cause you're sending me on a guilt trip!
Firefighter: Sorry.

Why am I sleeping when right next door is every kid's dream - - a fat, suggestible, zombie dad?

Bart

(Dazed) Zombie montage.

Homer

Rod: But users are losers!
Homer: You're confusing drugs with druuuuuuugs!

Marge: Homer, I think you dominoed this.
Homer: That's ridiculous. If I had set up those dominoes I'd be wearing my special domino-setting-up knee pads.
(lifts pant legs to reveal he's wearing Dominex knee pads)

Displaying quotes 13 - 21 of 21 in total

The Simpsons Season 18 Episode 19 Quotes

We're not thieves. We're scavengers. Like the beautiful vulture, or the heroic tapeworm, or America's sweetheart, the maggot.

Homer

Marge: I'm sorry, Maggie, but growing up means giving up the things you love.
Grampa: It's true. I had to give up everything but raisins, and the doctor says even those are killing me. Sweet, plump coffin nails they are.

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